Devin’s necklace<\/a>. I was caught off-guard and stuttered, “Yes.” My mouth parted wordlessly as I hastily tried to figure out how to explain what the necklace was for me.<\/p>\nMaybe she saw the jolt in my eyes, maybe she just wanted to explain, but before I could get anything out she said, “I know your story,” with a little motion that said it’s fine<\/i>. I relaxed immediately. She turned the necklace over to read Devin’s birth stats and said, “Awwwww. That is SO nice, I love it!” I told her how some of my friends had bought it for me after Devin’s passing, but that I don’t wear it to work because I just don’t want to deal with explanations when I am working. She nodded, understanding. We had a little conversation about jewelry and children – she has two. (Children, that is. According to her husband she has far more jewelry.)<\/p>\n
I just found the whole exchange very refreshing. I had no idea this person knew anything about me, much less that my son had died, but since she’s friends with my coworker I shouldn’t be surprized that info was passed along. I’m always grateful to avoid explaining to the unexpecting. I think the part that makes me smile most is that she knew that Devin died, but still happily, normally opened conversation about my necklace and about Devin. As other baby-loss mamas know, that doesn’t happen too often – they usually sit and wait for you to bring it up. (Not that I blame anyone for that, they have no idea how someone will react!) It was quite refreshing.<\/p>\n
I spent the large part of the rest of my time there making faces at my coworker’s baby. He’s a cute kid, and seems to like me. Ever since I got pregnant with Devin I’ve noticed that babies and little kids seem to be attracted to me. They never used to before. I held him for a little while… until he spit up, then I hastily gave him back. (Not that I couldn’t deal with it, but if I don’t get all the good stuff, I’m not dealing with the gross stuff.)<\/p>\n
It feels good just be me, to enjoy things – babies – as much as I can, around people who understand that there’s a huge shadow for me. I like that my coworker asks if I want to hold him. I like being able to bounce a grinning baby on my knee and think, you know, I’ll be good at this one day<\/i>. I like that the people in my life look at me with understanding – and not pity – in their eyes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today at a BBQ I knew very few people besides a couple of coworkers. One of the women I recognized from work (though not my office), so I seated myself at her table. She’s one of those people who are very energetic, very vibrant, who say what’s on their mind. She and her husband included […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[184,123,106,183],"class_list":["post-1965","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-babies","tag-fet2","tag-friends","tag-party"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1965","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1965"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1965\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1973,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1965\/revisions\/1973"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1965"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1965"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1965"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![Devin’s necklace<\/a>. I was caught off-guard and stuttered, “Yes.” My mouth parted wordlessly as I hastily tried to figure out how to explain what the necklace was for me.<\/p>\nMaybe she saw the jolt in my eyes, maybe she just wanted to explain, but before I could get anything out she said, “I know your story,” with a little motion that said it’s fine<\/i>. I relaxed immediately. She turned the necklace over to read Devin’s birth stats and said, “Awwwww. That is SO nice, I love it!” I told her how some of my friends had bought it for me after Devin’s passing, but that I don’t wear it to work because I just don’t want to deal with explanations when I am working. She nodded, understanding. We had a little conversation about jewelry and children – she has two. (Children, that is. According to her husband she has far more jewelry.)<\/p>\nI just found the whole exchange very refreshing. I had no idea this person knew anything about me, much less that my son had died, but since she’s friends with my coworker I shouldn’t be surprized that info was passed along. I’m always grateful to avoid explaining to the unexpecting. I think the part that makes me smile most is that she knew that Devin died, but still happily, normally opened conversation about my necklace and about Devin. As other baby-loss mamas know, that doesn’t happen too often – they usually sit and wait for you to bring it up. (Not that I blame anyone for that, they have no idea how someone will react!) It was quite refreshing.<\/p>\nI spent the large part of the rest of my time there making faces at my coworker’s baby. He’s a cute kid, and seems to like me. Ever since I got pregnant with Devin I’ve noticed that babies and little kids seem to be attracted to me. They never used to before. I held him for a little while… until he spit up, then I hastily gave him back. (Not that I couldn’t deal with it, but if I don’t get all the good stuff, I’m not dealing with the gross stuff.)<\/p>\nIt feels good just be me, to enjoy things – babies – as much as I can, around people who understand that there’s a huge shadow for me. I like that my coworker asks if I want to hold him. I like being able to bounce a grinning baby on my knee and think, you know, I’ll be good at this one day<\/i>. I like that the people in my life look at me with understanding – and not pity – in their eyes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Today at a BBQ I knew very few people besides a couple of coworkers. One of the women I recognized from work (though not my office), so I seated myself at her table. She’s one of those people who are very energetic, very vibrant, who say what’s on their mind. She and her husband included […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[184,123,106,183],"class_list":["post-1965","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-babies","tag-fet2","tag-friends","tag-party"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1965","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1965"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1965\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1973,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1965\/revisions\/1973"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1965"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1965"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1965"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}](\"http:\/\/img.photobucket.com\/albums\/v240\/lunarmagic\/Baby\/Memory\/necklace.jpg\"){kind=link}