Once upon a time I really really<\/i> enjoyed my spare time. I enjoyed it by doing nothing. I slept. I ate. I read and watched TV. Most of the time I really didn’t want to do anything at all.<\/p>\n
That has changed. Now when I have days off I start to think what I can do to fill those days. Time to myself is all well and good, but unless I have something active to do<\/i> I start getting antsy, anxious… I start going over the same things again and again.<\/p>\n
This morning I baked a cake, then went to work. I left work mid-day to go to a BBQ (to which Den had brought the cake). We spent several hours there, sitting in the shade in the backyard, eating, talking and relaxing. But after a while I found myself looking around. My brain was just turning over thoughts and ideas. This tree, that plant, the grass. Soon I didn’t really want to sit there any longer, I needed to get my hands into something.<\/p>\n
When we got home at 6pm I went out back and started weeding pathways in my garden. I planted flower seeds along my fence, just for fun.<\/p>\n
In that once upon a time past the thought of doing all that in one day would have exhausted me. Now that’s the norm.<\/p>\n
Part of it is that I have a lot more energy than I used to have. Better sleeping and eating habits, more vitamins, and being up and moving really helps me not settle into the fatigue that I used to have (and still sometimes do). But some of it, I know, is that I don’t want quiet time to think. I’ll think about my house, my pets, my work… but I do not want to think about my cycle or my baby or how quiet it is in our lives and our hearts. I prefer to be busy, with my hands in the dirt or the laundry or the clutter.<\/p>\n
I prefer to keep moving forward, because I stop I don’t know if I’ll ever start moving again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Once upon a time I really really enjoyed my spare time. I enjoyed it by doing nothing. I slept. I ate. I read and watched TV. Most of the time I really didn’t want to do anything at all. That has changed. Now when I have days off I start to think what I can […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[166,123,168,132,167,165],"class_list":["post-1941","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-busy","tag-fet2","tag-forward","tag-garden","tag-quiet","tag-sleep"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1941","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1941"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1941\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1943,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1941\/revisions\/1943"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1941"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1941"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1941"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}