And we have blood. Small, large? I don’t know. More than a spot, less than a gush. Enough to soak my panty liner. I wasn’t too surprized. It actually didn’t seem weird at first, and then I realized I’m supposed to be pregnant right now, not bleeding. Then I stared and wondered what the fuck to do.<\/p>\n
I’ve been worried from the start. Those damn tests. I know people keep saying they mean nothing, but still. It just didn’t feel right. (I did take another one tonight – darker than the last one. Just to reassure me that, at this moment in time, I am still pregnant.) And then my sinus thing cleared up yesterday. I wondered, but again, who knows what that really means, right? I feel a heaviness in my abdomen tonight.<\/p>\n
I know there is still a chance that things are fine and will continue normally. But I’ve seen enough to realize how common miscarriages are and that I am likely heading towards one. I’m mentally preparing myself for that inevitability, and for FET#2.<\/p>\n
In a way I’m a little relieved – if I’m going to lose it, let me lose it now, early, before we get too far in. I can handle this, and at least I know I can get pregnant again.<\/p>\n
I feel a little disconnected. I’m not freaking out calling the doctor. I know there’s nothing they can do or say, but just wait and see. That’s all anyone can do at this point. Wait and see what the morning comes.<\/p>\n
Another night not knowing what tomorrow will bring.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
And we have blood. Small, large? I don’t know. More than a spot, less than a gush. Enough to soak my panty liner. I wasn’t too surprized. It actually didn’t seem weird at first, and then I realized I’m supposed to be pregnant right now, not bleeding. Then I stared and wondered what the fuck […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[87],"class_list":["post-1744","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-fet1"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1744","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1744"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1744\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1745,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1744\/revisions\/1745"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1744"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1744"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1744"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}