{"id":1620,"date":"2009-03-01T23:59:57","date_gmt":"2009-03-02T03:59:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/?p=1620"},"modified":"2009-03-02T00:00:51","modified_gmt":"2009-03-02T04:00:51","slug":"where-there-is-hope-there-is-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/?p=1620","title":{"rendered":"Where there is hope, there is fear"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>And suddenly, here it is. I start testing in the morning, and I am terrified. Not that I really expect a positive on 11dpo (last time I was testing negative until 13dpo), but it&#8217;s the fear of continued nothings.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve never been in <i>this<\/i> place before. I&#8217;ve been in similar places, waiting to test &#8211; many with a lot of hope. But they all ended badly. The one cycle that ended well I had NO hope and no anticipation. So in a way my brain really can&#8217;t wrap around the possibility of this ending well. I spend all day imaginging it, clinging to it, believing it&#8230; but when night falls and that pregnancy test looms close, all I can ever imagine seeing is a plain white negative.<\/p>\n<p>Apparently getting pregnant once doesn&#8217;t really lessen the fear that it will never happen again, like I had hoped.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>And suddenly, here it is. I start testing in the morning, and I am terrified. Not that I really expect a positive on 11dpo (last time I was testing negative until 13dpo), but it&#8217;s the fear of continued nothings. I&#8217;ve never been in this place before. I&#8217;ve been in similar places, waiting to test &#8211; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[78],"class_list":["post-1620","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-ivf-4"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1620","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1620"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1620\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1623,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1620\/revisions\/1623"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}