{"id":1514,"date":"2009-02-08T00:01:45","date_gmt":"2009-02-08T04:01:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/?p=1514"},"modified":"2009-02-08T00:04:29","modified_gmt":"2009-02-08T04:04:29","slug":"another-label","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/?p=1514","title":{"rendered":"Another label"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve always had an issue with the phone. A big one. Most teenaged girls glued their phone to their ear for the entire evening, and there I was, avoiding mine at all costs. I hated answering it, I hated calling people. My mom would get very frustrated and a little angry with me. “Just call<\/i> and ask!” She didn’t see what the big deal was, and to be honest neither did I. I didn’t know why<\/i> I disliked it so much, I just did<\/i>.<\/p>\n

Over time I have learned to prepare myself to use the phone. Speaking to people I know well is fine now, but for all other calls I have a process. I get a pen and paper ready, I jot down notes, I rehearse, and I have to have complete quiet.<\/p>\n

I have had many years to ponder this issue, and realized that I have trouble hearing people. Or, rather, understanding them. Having a silent room to phone from is of paramount importance – any sound at all and I can’t understand a word that is said. It’s almost like my brain gets distracted… like the background noise garbles up the signal. I’m constantly asking, “Sorry, what was that?” Even when conditions are perfect, it is hard<\/i> work. It takes all my concious effort to keep up with the conversation, and I feel quite exhausted afterwards.<\/p>\n

I mentioned this offhand to my therapist last week, and she asked a few questions of me to get a better understanding of it. Do I have the same problems talking face-to-face? No, it’s much easier when the person is in front of me. Maybe it’s the connection I need, she said, that I don’t react well when it’s not personal. No, I countered – I love email and written communication… in fact, I prefer that over all else. Her suggestion was that the probems that I have on the phone I also have in face-to-face, but that I rely on visual cues to fill in the gaps. She said I might be lip reading far more than I am aware.<\/p>\n

I’ve been paying attention for the week since then it all seems to make sense. I looked it up, and this is what I found: Auditory Processing Disorder<\/a>. Well holy shit.<\/p>\n

* It’s a processing<\/i> disorder, not a hearing<\/i> problem. Which explains my confusion all these years. I thought there couldn’t be anything wrong, since I have very sensitive hearing. But the problem is in my brain translating the sound to language.<\/p>\n

* I have a hellish time understanding any kind of instructions given verbally. I always always have required it to be written down. Even if I only glance at it once, it still stays in my head that way. My parents used to argue with me and give me verbal driving directions and I would throw a fit… I just could not<\/i> understand verbal directions.<\/p>\n

* “need more time to process information” – This is one of the ways I’ve described what I’m dealing with. When I get verbal information I feel like I’m always three steps behind, struggling to process it all.<\/p>\n

* “develop a dislike for locations with background noise such as bar, clubs or other social locations” – I despise them. I usually just give up completely. I usually end up just nodding and smiling a lot, because I can’t figure out what the fuck anyone is saying. Visual clues only get me so far.<\/p>\n

Obviously whatever I have does not extend into other things. I am not autistic, dyslexic, ADD, or a language procesing disorder that extends into written words. It’s solely the auditory processing.<\/p>\n

It does explain a lot, though. I like it when the puzzle pieces of my brain fall together a little bit more. Like when I was sorta-diagnosed with OCPD. Little things that basically explain who I am and how I function.<\/p>\n

I should probably get formally tested and diagnosed with this APD, but to be honest, I don’t feel like shelling out hundreds of dollars in copays for something that have had all my life and have learned to cope with. I simply don’t see any benefits to being officially diagnosed. It’s not like depression, that you can “fix” with a medication. I know how to best structure things to my advantage – and I know my weaknesses. That’s pretty much the best you can do anyways. Most of what I find online is about school-age kids, and I’m a little bit past worrying about it being an issue in school.<\/p>\n

Some people probably think I’m being overly dramatic and looking for things that aren’t there. But it is what it is, and I don’t really care if it’s something you can pin a name on or not. (It just makes it a little easier to describe and understand!) I have troubles understanding verbal speech and need to work a little harder than most people. That’s pretty much what it boils down to.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve always had an issue with the phone. A big one. Most teenaged girls glued their phone to their ear for the entire evening, and there I was, avoiding mine at all costs. I hated answering it, I hated calling people. My mom would get very frustrated and a little angry with me. “Just call […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[7],"class_list":["post-1514","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-thoughts-and-emotions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1514"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1516,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1514\/revisions\/1516"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1514"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1514"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1514"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}