{"id":1271,"date":"2008-09-01T23:08:12","date_gmt":"2008-09-02T03:08:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/?p=1271"},"modified":"2008-09-01T23:09:06","modified_gmt":"2008-09-02T03:09:06","slug":"anticipation-of-joy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/?p=1271","title":{"rendered":"Anticipation of Joy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I sit in quiet and mull over things I want to write&#8230; things that will have to wait until another day. The thoughts are not yet fully formed, but one.<\/p>\n<p>It is September. I was dreading it, to a degree. I didn&#8217;t know what to expect, but I feared the milestones hitting at once: my 26th and his 6 month. Too close together. I still feel very guarded; I do not know what this week will bring.<\/p>\n<p>But, yet, when I looked at the calendar at work, newly flipped to September, I said to my coworker quietly, &#8220;Next year will be better. Next year will be different.&#8221; I realized then that I really believed that. I really meant it.<\/p>\n<p>I am looking forward to December. I am looking forward to another chance. I am looking forward to going through it again. Not with the stark, burning need that I once felt, but with anticipation of something wonderful. I was given a gift those 8 months, and it will not be the only one.<\/p>\n<p>I lay in waiting for my turn to come around again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I sit in quiet and mull over things I want to write&#8230; things that will have to wait until another day. The thoughts are not yet fully formed, but one. It is September. I was dreading it, to a degree. I didn&#8217;t know what to expect, but I feared the milestones hitting at once: my [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[55],"class_list":["post-1271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-ivf2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1271"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1271\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}