{"id":1119,"date":"2008-04-29T02:54:11","date_gmt":"2008-04-29T06:54:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/?p=1119"},"modified":"2008-04-29T02:54:11","modified_gmt":"2008-04-29T06:54:11","slug":"articles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/?p=1119","title":{"rendered":"Articles"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been doing some reading lately and one of the things I’ve come across is this: When A Child Dies 2006 Survey<\/a>, by The Compassionate Friends<\/a>. It’s an interesting read overall, but the most interesting part to me was this finding:<\/p>\n

Of the 306 who were married, 57 (18.6%) responded that they were no longer
\nmarried to the same person. Of that 57, eight were widowed, yielding a divorce
\nrate of 16%, far below the national divorce rate of approximately 50%.5. … The figures indicate that the death of a child actually appears to draw bereaved parents together as they travel life\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s grief journey.<\/div>\n

I am certainly finding this to be true. My relationship with Den has always been a very close one, though it hasn’t always been without its issues. But there is no time in the past that I felt as close to him as I do now.<\/p>\n

Another article I found was this one on expectations of your grief<\/a> by the Sudden Infant Death Services of Illinois. I found myself checking items off in my head as I read through them.<\/p>\n

Like grieving of things symbolic. The loss of dreams. The identity confusion.<\/p>\n

The loss of a child is so much about the symbolism that changes: my first child; my mental image of this family; my concept of motherhood. My expectations of life involved these things in a certain, specific way. Everything changed when he died. I have had to adjust to a whole new future, and all of these things now have different meanings. It did not evolve naturally over time like life generally does… my image of motherhood did not adapt to trial and error, did not grow as my experience grew. It all changed in an instant. A clap of thunder, a flash of lightening, and everything in my life was scrambled and I was spit back out into a totally new landscape.<\/p>\n

I do feel that someday I’ll get used to this new role. Someday it won’t feel so raw, I won’t feel like I’m still spinning. I’m willing to bet that after time even such huge losses as this fades into your history. It becomes a part of who you are, woven into your timeline. It really does change your identity. Right now I can look back and see who I used to be just over that hill, and it’s very disorienting. I’m just waiting to grow into it. I’m waiting for everything to sort itself out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been doing some reading lately and one of the things I’ve come across is this: When A Child Dies 2006 Survey, by The Compassionate Friends. It’s an interesting read overall, but the most interesting part to me was this finding: Of the 306 who were married, 57 (18.6%) responded that they were no longer […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[76,69],"class_list":["post-1119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-ivf-3","tag-loss"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1119","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1119"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1119\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}