{"id":1116,"date":"2008-04-26T11:40:38","date_gmt":"2008-04-26T15:40:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/?p=1116"},"modified":"2008-04-26T11:40:38","modified_gmt":"2008-04-26T15:40:38","slug":"to-be-a-buddha","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/?p=1116","title":{"rendered":"To Be A Buddha"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I stumbled across <a href=\"http:\/\/www.buddhaweb.org\/\">buddhaweb<\/a> today. The four noble truths of Buddhism:<br \/>\n   1. Suffering exists<br \/>\n   2. Suffering arises from attachment to desires<br \/>\n   3. Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases<br \/>\n   4. Freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path<\/p>\n<p>That resonated with me: <i>Suffering arises from attachment to desires.<\/i> We grow attached to this idea of a baby, all through a pregnancy this attachment grows. The future lays out before us and it worms its way into our hearts. We make plans for this child, we wonder what he will grow up to do, to be. We plan our life around what will be, not what is.<\/p>\n<p>And then it is all gone. And we suffer, because everything we thought we had, everything we planned, everything we desired&#8230; is gone.<\/p>\n<p>::<\/p>\n<div class=\"quote\">Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in memory as the wish to forget it.<br \/>\n&#8211; Montaigne<\/div>\n<p>Yesterday wasn&#8217;t a <i>bad<\/i> day. I was productive, I was active. But I realized I still can&#8217;t view anything baby&#8230; reading friends&#8217; journals about babies makes me feel panicky. Every time there was a spare moment, a silence, my mind drifted right back to Devin. And it hurt.<\/p>\n<p>I realized the bubble is gone&#8230; that lovely bubble of numbness that I&#8217;ve been walking around in. It&#8217;s no longer there. Now instead of feeling numb I feel this constant ache.<\/p>\n<p>Others have said that it gets worse before it gets better. I guess they&#8217;re right.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I stumbled across buddhaweb today. The four noble truths of Buddhism: 1. Suffering exists 2. Suffering arises from attachment to desires 3. Suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases 4. Freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eightfold Path That resonated with me: Suffering arises from attachment to desires. We grow attached to this [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[76,69],"class_list":["post-1116","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-ivf-3","tag-loss"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1116","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1116"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1116\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1116"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1116"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1116"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}