My husband is far more of a gamer than I am. I have too short an attention span and get bored easily… so I tend to try everything and accomplish very little. I get bored randomly and just can’t be bothered with sitting there very long. But a hobby was needed, so I reactivated World of Warcraft to putz around. I think it’s one of the only times I may be very happy<\/i> to be addicted to a game. It doesn’t involve babies at all<\/i>. It is something to immerse myself in, to be mindless and obsessed with, that is completely and utterly separate from my state of pregnancy (or un-pregnancy), infertility, or parenthood. And I am thankful.<\/p>\n
Of course getting invoved in things like this do lead to the inevitable “waking up” moment when I suddenly my brain looks around and remembers everything that’s happened this past year. As if I had forgotten for all of 5 minutes. But at least those rememberances don’t hit me like a ton of bricks… just a sinking of my spirits, like a huge weight is being re-applied.<\/p>\n
I can’t emotionally afford to think about Devin all the time… thinking about him is so overwhelming. Not just that the feelings are so strong, but there’s so many of them I don’t even know what<\/i> I think. There are regrets and fears and hopes and anger and hopelessness… and that’s just in the first three seconds. It’s exhausting. If I could just feel one thing at a time it would be much easier to handle.<\/p>\n
I would write more tonight, but I spent too much time in the game and now I’m just too tired to write.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My husband is far more of a gamer than I am. I have too short an attention span and get bored easily… so I tend to try everything and accomplish very little. I get bored randomly and just can’t be bothered with sitting there very long. But a hobby was needed, so I reactivated World […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[76,69],"class_list":["post-1083","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-ivf-3","tag-loss"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1083","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1083"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1083\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1083"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1083"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1083"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}