My body is returning to normal: zits. Sigh. I had such perfect skin in pregnancy, other than some oiliness in first tri. Now I have to remember to get back into the habit of using my Proactiv.<\/p>\n
I want to get my body back before getting pregnant again. I am now at 152lbs, exactly 10lbs under what I was last week before giving birth. Another 12lbs to go to my initial goal. (If I reach it I’ll re-set the goal lower and keep going. But I’d be happy to just get back to 140, what I was beforehand.)<\/p>\n
I really would have expected myself to not care what I look like at a time like this, but for some reason it’s the opposite…. it’s something I can control, something I can do to help me feel better about myself. So I’m going to try.<\/p>\n
::<\/p>\n
This morning was my check-up appointment at the Midwives, to make sure I was doing okay. I was planning on going alone, but last night and this morning I was feeling just so much anxiety about walking back in there that I asked Den to come with me. It was weird walking back into the hospital, passing the gift shop, remembering the last time we walked out those doors. Of course there was a laboring pregnant woman in the hallway… Den and I just held hands tighter as we passed.<\/p>\n
As we walked past the midwife office on our way to the waiting room (they’re slightly separate, since the waiting room is also used for ultrasounds, NSTs, and other things) I noticed the midwife office door was wide open – it’s always closed. The receptionist at the desk looked up at us and said, “Natalie?” When I nodded they ushered us straight in, saying they didn’t want us sitting in the waiting room. They put us right in an exam room.<\/p>\n
The midwife with whom I had the appointment today was the same midwife who delivered Devin, and I was glad to see her. I like her. There was no exam or anything today, I had thought they were going to check things out to make sure it was healing okay. But she just asked how I was feeling, physically and mentally. No issues, no concerns. She said we sound like we are dealing with everything fine emotionally. She booked me an appointment for about 5 weeks time (I forget the date, currently) for another check-in and told me that if we need anything at all we know how to contact them.<\/p>\n
We also booked an appointment with an OB to go over bloodtest and autopsy results. In the hospital we had been told it would be in about 6 weeks, but the doctor wanted to wait another couple of weeks to make sure most of the results were back in. So we’ll see him on May 1. The good part is that the doctor we’ll be seeing is Dr M., someone who knows Den. I don’t remember if I ever mentioned him, but this doctor volunteers with the Guard, with Den. He’s an extremely, extremely nice guy, and he happens to be a big doctor at the hospital…. he’s the one in charge of the super high-risk patients. He was at the hospital last thursday and heard what happened and he came to visit us and talk to us. (Unfortunately it was in that one-hour period that I was drugged up, so I wasn’t too lucid at the time.) I was happy that he had come to see us, to talk to Den. And we are both very thankful that he is the doctor that we will talk to about all of this – we trust him, we like him, and we know if anyone can help us, he can. From what the midwife said he actually requested to be the one to see us.<\/p>\n
The questions we had for the midwife revolved around a future pregnancy. We wanted to know what will happen next time, what will they do to keep our baby safe, to reassure us. Would we be considered high risk? She said that it depends on the test results of course – that how they respond would be dependent on if they find a cause for what happened or not. But, assuming it was just a freak accident (and most of them are), what they’ll do is increased monitoring in my third trimester with non-stress tests. I won’t be “high-risk” in the way that I’d need to be transferred to a high-risk doctor, I will still be able to seen by the Midwives. I didn’t ask for specifics, as I’ll worry about that later, but I am relieved to hear that they won’t be treating me like any other pregnant woman, that’s mainly what I wanted to know.<\/p>\n
The more I think about it, the more I think I’m going to really panic all the way through my third tri next time. I’ll get through it somehow, but things are going to be very different. We will probably rent a doppler to use at least weekly. I will want frequent NSTs and ultrasounds (and hope they can do that). And if anything, ANYTHING seems “off” I will be driving into the hospital and refusing to leave. My entire perspective has changed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My body is returning to normal: zits. Sigh. I had such perfect skin in pregnancy, other than some oiliness in first tri. Now I have to remember to get back into the habit of using my Proactiv. I want to get my body back before getting pregnant again. I am now at 152lbs, exactly 10lbs […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[76,69],"class_list":["post-1062","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-ivf-3","tag-loss"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1062","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1062"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1062\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lunardreams.net\/baby\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}