Relaxing Doesn't Make Babies

Feed me

March 24, 2011 — 1:18 am

One of the most unexpected side-effects of having a live child has been making some local friends. I’m not really an outgoing person, I’m a techie and a home-body, I feel most comfortable interacting socially online. I have many, many online friends. But there’s certainly something to be said for being able to go grab a bite to eat with someone, to take a walk, or to just sit around and talk. Having a baby seems to be one of those universal social networking gateways. Suddenly there’s clearly common ground. And since your life does tend to revolve around your child it’s not just a common interest, you’re actually walking a similar life path, hitting similar milestones, dealing with similar frustrations. And the common ground is pretty much guaranteed to be for the next 18 years and more. Since Kate was born I’ve made an effort to join groups and go to open playgroups. I can be a little slow to extend friendship – not because I’m slow to like other people, but because I’m never entirely sure that the other person will like me! But now I find myself having actual friends.

Friends with kids a similar age is getting more and more a necessity if I ever want to get out because I’m realizing how exhausting it is to take Kate somewhere that isn’t baby-proofed. She does really well wherever we go but she wants to explore, and I don’t blame her. It’s exciting! She wants to climb things and pick things up and put things in her mouth. She wants to pull open cupboards and pull things off shelves. If someone has a mobile child chances are they are okay with things being slobbered on and banged around – chances are anything dangerous or breakable has been removed and gated off. Other places in public… not so much. Obviously I re-direct Kate and remove things from her and say, “No-no, that’s not yours,” but I try to limit the amount of time I need to do that. It’s so frustrating for her! She’s too young to really understand why she can have one thing and not another, and while she’s remarkably tolerant of my distractions and re-directions she does lose her patience after a while. Especially if I’m trying to get her to sit on my lap for any extended period. (Not that she’s ever been good about sitting still.)

But we still do get out a lot – I think other moms might be surprised at how much we’re visiting! Kate is a really adaptable child, she enjoys being out, she has no problems being in new places and meeting new people, her schedule is really flexible, and she travels well. It used to be easier when I was exclusively breastfeeding, as I never had to worry about having food with me or how to feed her… now she’s eating solids I find it’s a little bit more tricky. Three times in the past week we’ve found ourselves at someone’s house for dinner or dropping by at a restaurant. Today I ended up buying a travel booster (Fisher Price Luv U Zoo Booster) so that I can have her safely secured with a tray to eat off of. I find that most restaurant high chairs suck – they have no tray so she has to eat off the table, they have no back and are too big for her small body which makes me nervous, and half the time the buckles are broken! I’m going to keep the travel booster in my truck so that it’s with us wherever we are.

As for the food itself, well that’s becoming less of an issue now that she’s eating a lot of what I’m eating. She’s very good about chewing and we’ve had no problems giving her whatever foods off my plate – from the start I’ve offered her small mushy finger foods (since we didn’t start really giving her solids regularly until she started the pincer grasp). Today at a restaurant I ordered a side of zucchini and she gobbled it up! Another time we ate hibachi and she ate half my noodles (note to self: order extra noodles). She’s eating meat cut up or ground, she likes diced fruits and steamed veggies, she eats crackers, she loves yogurt and cheese. She’s had pancakes and french toast and scrambled eggs. (As an aside, did you know that the whole no eggs, no peanut butter thing is not the current recommendations? The AAP changed their stance on potential allergy foods back in 2008. I didn’t know that.)

::

So I had that whole big plan for sleep and I was motivated. I was. And then there was sick, and then there was teething. And now that I’m getting some good nights again I just frankly don’t care where she sleeps or even what time she goes to bed.

I’m learning that her going to sleep at 8:30pm makes it highly unlikely she’ll sleep until 9am anyways. As much as I enjoy quiet evenings, I appreciate sleeping in even more. I still struggle with the feeling that I’m somehow doing wrong by her if I don’t get her to bed by x time. But then I think, is she overtired? Not usually. (Not unless she’s had a bad night or interrupted naps.) I think people hear that she doesn’t get to bed until 10pm some nights and think she’s getting only 8 hours of sleep. But if we sleep until 9 she’s getting 11 hours! Plus she’s been taking longer naps again, so 3-4 hours of nap time total per day. And she’s a really happy girl – I know it, and everyone comments on how happy she is.

And as for the where – well honestly I stopped sleeping well. I know that sounds ridiculous because most mothers can’t wait until their baby sleeps in their own room and sleeps through the night. I found myself laying in bed playing with my phone or just staring at the ceiling. Plus when I finally did fall asleep it really sucks to be woken up and have to get up. It sucks! Now that she’s back to sleeping peacefully beside me I have happily taken her back in and we’re getting some glorious glorious sleep. In fact she’s learned now how to wiggle and roll around and get herself comfortable. I have to make sure she’s very sleepy when I let her do it (if she’s not almost asleep and I let her roll around she suddenly pops to her knees and crawls away to play), but once I nurse her and cuddle her and she’s drifting off I can scoot away and get myself settled in, then she rolls and wiggles closer to me and gets herself comfortable, then we both fall asleep. It must be quite the picture, both of us side-by-side, both sleeping on our bellies in the same position.

We do need to take the fourth side back off the crib, though. It sounded like a good idea – a safe place to let her play in the morning, since she liked to play in her crib. Instead? I put her in it and she cries. Not helpful. I liked it far better when the side was off so she could crawl in and out of it at will.

Now if we could just get that second tooth we’d be laughing. (I thought it was through… but I STILL don’t feel it. I can see it right there! Last night between 2 and 3am was apparently a Bad Tooth Hour…. just tired, unhappy screaming and sobbing for an hour.)

4 responses to “Feed me”

  1. Gina says:

    You know,you dont give off the vibe of a mother with just one child,you sound more like a more relaxed and more experienced mother of say…3? lol.It usually takes a couple of kids to reach the point where you are *that* relaxed,and i think thats pretty cool,because you dont seem to have had to pass that “oh shit! I made a booboo” part in the middle lol.Good for you!!!

    Going with the flow *does* make things so much easier..it does.Yes,it would be nice if our kids were little control freaks (like most mothers tend to be lol),but the reality of being a mother is not like that.Ive heard of kids going to bed at 7pm,but seriously,unless you are a working mother who has to be up at 6am,and you´re also willing to be in bed yourself by 9pm,what´s so great about that? Those kids arent getting more sleep than mine,and who said that 7-8pm was the “acceptable” bedtime for kids? *eye roll*

    Im also a night person,and many many people have looked at me like I have 2 heads when I tell them that my kids go to bed at 11pm..but,see,I dont want them up at 6am! NO WAY! I send my kids (Noelia included) to bed at that time,because it means that they sleep in until at least 10am+,and of course,being as Im also rested,I get to stay up until 1am+ like I am used to.Bedtime at 7-8pm would just not work for someone like me at all..so get you!! :D
    Our kids are getting 11 hours of sleep!.A mom once said to me “But if your kid gets up at 10am,she misses half of the day!”..Oh really? How many moms with their toddlers do you see in the park at 6am? How many playgroups start at dawn? How many people are out with their kids at that time?? Are my kids really missing out on *that* much from 6 to 10 am?? lol.
    Also,when you dont have to have your kids in bed soooooooooooo early,you also have a more flexable life.You can go out to dinner,you can actually *do* things with your kid at night,and that is a HUGE plus,especially in the summer when its still freakin day time at 7pm!! lol

    As for eggs,peanuts and meats etc,my kids (as Kate) were eating ALL of those things by the time they were 8 months old.Legumes,eggs,meat,fish etc etc,it was all on their menu.Mine did fine *shrugs*

    Its such a pitty that we cant meet up,I think we´d get along SO well ;)

    • Nat says:

      I’ve had a lot of people comment to me about that… that I seem so calm and relaxed for a first-time mother. It’s funny. I’m not the calm, relaxed kind of person with anything else. LOL!

      Yeah, you totally understand about the late nights. ;) I just cannot get myself to bed at 8 or 9pm. That’s just… crazy early. And another benefit of our schedule is that she’s up later at night when Den is home so he actually gets more time with her!

      I agree Gina, it’s too bad we’re so far apart. If you’re ever in this area… ;)

  2. Deborah says:

    You sound a lot like me, too. My son goes to bed at 10 pm and wakes up around 7:30, which is plenty of sleep. I’m not strict about nap times, either. I’d rather have the flexibility to go out and do things.

    And also, I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who feels more comfortable socializing online, but also glad you’re making real-life friends. I have the obsessive fear of people not liking me, but usually it’s unfounded.

  3. Kristen says:

    WOW! You are one lucky Mama!! I WISH I could get my kids to sleep later but alas….They are morning people just like their dad…sigh……..They both go to bed by 7:30!!!!!! and are UUPPPP at 7am!!!! EVERY DAY!!! If they did go to bed later? Even 10 or 11? Yup, UP at 7. Those days are FUN lemmetellyou……My son can tell time so he has a clock and strict instructions not to step foot out of his bed until 7. I do know that on most days he can be up as early as 5:30 and staring at his clock…..
    We’ve got the darkest room darkening shades you can get & there are fans that make a constant white noise in their rooms. Some kids just have an inside DING that goes off at the ass-crack of dawn regardless of when they went to bed! LUCKY ME I have 2 of them!!!

    Enjoy Kates sleep pattern now & let her sleep until noon if she wants! As she gets older & will start school she’ll be up early then so what’s the rush to get her down early & up early now?