I have to share this photo, because I love it.

I’ve been getting a bit more into photography as a hobby lately (I used to be… a long time ago. When I had time and energy and nothing else to do). Yesterday I was trying to take some self portraits using my camera and my tripod and Kate was attracted to the tripod like a bug to a light. She wanted to touch it, play with it.

After I was done I collapsed the legs way down so it was Kate’s height and set up the camera so she just had to turn the camera and push the button. She loved it! She took pictures of random things around the room and then started piling all of her stuffed animals on her kitchen to take a group photo.

She’s my kid, what can I say. :D

Her pic:

Kate’s speech has shifted this past week, she has started using pronouns correctly and more complex sentence forms. She’s saying things like, “I want the blue cup,” “That’s my baby! This is yours, mama.” “I hear Ember! Go get her!” She’s speaking slower, you can tell she’s searching in her brain for the correct pronoun to use. The result is an utterly adorable emphasis on certain words.

Today was a conversation bonanza with her. So many funny and adorable things!

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She woke up from her nap (yes she took one today!) in a good mood. I could hear her chattering in her room, and singing, so I left her for a few minutes. When I went in to get her she was sitting on her bed in the corner with all her her various stuffed animals laying down in an array in front of her. “Shhh,” she said, “All the animals are sleeping!” I sat down with her and we sung them her bedtime song (Morningtown Ride). She she made me give each of the animals a kiss, also part of her bedtime routine. Then we tiptoed out of the room.

A minute later she says, “Rabbit crying!” We opened her bedroom door and she ran over to the bed to pick up the rabbit. “It okay,” she said while giving him a big squeezy hug. “It okay.”

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This afternoon we went to a ball field to watch Den play baseball. Kate has been showing interest in baseball, it’s one of her favorite things to do outside (she has a plastic bat and ball). We sat on the bench for a little bit and she kept pointing to Den and saying, “Daddy! Daddy! Hi!! Number five!” (He has the number 5 on his back.)

When he was up to bat she clapped and said “Yaayyy!!” every time he swung – even if he missed. He ran to first base and she clapped. He ran to second and she clapped. In a little bit he was able to run home and she clapped. As he jogged off the field toward us she ran toward him and said, “Yay daddy!!! I so proud of you!!”

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On the way home after dinner she rode in Den’s car with him – Ember was in my SUV with me. When we got home she immediately said, “Mama! Look, the moon!!! Look!!” And it was there above the house. Den said on the way home she could see the moon out the window and kept talking about it. “Daddy, the moon!! Where the moon go? There it is! The moon!!” Apparently she also said something along the lines of, “Kate tired. Moon means bedtime. Daddy tired, too.”

She indeed went to bed soon as we got home.

Ember is not only crawling, she is charging around the house full steam. Her favorite room is the bathroom, because there are lots of fun tubby toys and shampoo bottles to throw into the tub – which she does, immediately. She’s pulling up to stand on everything, including the tub, then *bang* goes the stacking cups, *thunk* goes the shampoo. At least it makes it easy to tell where she is! Once everything has been sufficiently tossed she then moves on to unrolling the toilet paper, and yesterday Den told me she figured out how to open the cabinet under the sink. We keep the bathroom door closed for the bathroom’s safety, but the minute she looks over to see it open she makes a beeline.

Kate’s room, too, now has its dangers. She would play with the clothes and toys and pull up to stand using the bed – that’s no big deal. But there’s also Kate’s trampoline in there and now Ember has figured out how to climb onto it! Not only does she bounce on her bum and nearly fall over backwards, she grabs the handle and stands up (and bites the rubber handle grip). So there she is, perched precariously on the edge of the trampoline. I won’t say she’s prone to falling, but she does fall off. So she either needs a spotter or the door stays shut.

All of this is made more fun by the fact that Kate can open any door she chooses now. I don’t care if Kate goes in her bedroom or the bathroom – though I do try to herd her out of my bedroom because she likes to play with the CD player and such – but wherever she goes, so does little sister!

Ember is 10 months old now and still doesn’t have any teeth. I’m pretty certain one is coming, either that or she has an ear infection or something, because the last few days she’s been pretty miserable. Red cheeks, runny nose, and just fussy fussy fussy. This kid is pretty much the furthest thing from fussy you can get, so for her to constantly crawling onto my lap sobbing “buhbuhbuhbuh!” but not really nursing… it’s just not right. Getting her to nap is being the most difficult; given that she isn’t feeling great I’m having a tough time putting her down in her bed, she just wants to stay attached to the boob. Needless to say it is difficult to shower and make food with her nursing. Plus it tickles when she flutter-sucks. I have been getting her to nap eventually but not after a bit of a fight and usually hours past sleepy time. So in addition to the above symptoms she’s also running chronically overtired. Overtired babies are very frustrating… just saying.

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Just this week Ember has started doing three important things.

On the “cute!” side she has started pointing, chubby little fingers curled in except for her pointer finger. Yesterday at the baseball game she kept pointing to the sky then clapping when I said yay. :)

On the “helpful” side she now tries to put her arms in the armholes of her clothes and actually straightens her arms to get it on. Considering I have spent the last 10 months fighting this child every time I put a shirt on her I am very thankful! I don’t know why, but she every single time she would pull her arms in to her sides, make fists, and use all her strength to prevent me from pulling her arm through. Very annoying. This is a HUGE improvement.

And on the “it’s about damn time” side she finally she has started rolling over!! Only back to front, and only to her left, but she finally figured it out. Of course this has made for some major changes with sleeping, since now she’s not stuck on her back wherever we lay her. So no more sleeping on our bed and we had to put the rail up on her crib. What a pain it is! I now have to learn the fine art of putting down a sleeping baby. Which, by the way, I totally suck at. But now when she wakes up she just rolls over and starts crawling around her crib.

The other day at bedtime we were reading Kate a book in her bed while Ember played on the kids trampoline, as usual. We keep an eye on her in case she head-dives off it, but she freaking loves that thing. So I glanced over at her sitting up there, then the next time I glanced over she’s on the floor crawling over to Den. I think huh, that’s weird, maybe he got her off or she fell off or something. A few minutes later she crawls back up there to play and then I see her turning around and getting off feet-first! What?! Kate took forever to learn how to do that, there was a long period between crawling/climbing and getting off without crashing. Ember apparently had decided she’s had enough spills already so she’ll just skip to getting off safely. Go Ember!

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The weather is still cool, especially when the wind blows, but it’s warm enough that we’re heading outside sometimes. It is just so nice to sit in the sunshine when I can. Kate loves finding leaves and sticks to collect and wave around, or flowers (weeds) to pick. Ember likes to eat grass.

It’s funny, I remember Kate’s first experience with grass. She poked at it, she plucked it one blade at a time, and then she refused to put her hands on it and cried when she tried to crawl. Once she was walking she was better, but she’d still cry if she tipped over and had to put her hands down for balance. Ember on the other hand…. well she had a similar moment poking at the grass, feeling it, checking it out. But then she went full-bore ahead! Today she was charging around the yard, crawling like a maniac and doing her breathy excited laugh. She kept putting bits of grass and leaves in her mouth. I gave her a piece of my hot dog bun, but she mouthed it a little, crawled around with it clutched in her fist, then sat up and put more in her mouth. Mmmmm, dirt.

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Kate has stopped napping. She’ll take one every few days but most days even if I do the whole routine and put her in there she just sings at the top of her lungs for an hour while kicking the walls and jumping around. Considering that Ember sleeps in our bedroom right next door and the walls are really not soundproof I try to discourage her from doing that. I turn the TV on to something hopefully interesting, give her a snack, and tell her to just sit down and be quiet for a little bit, but no. Every few minutes I get a, “Mama! Ma-MA!” or she’s trying to awkwardly climb onto my lap. (I do like her sitting on my lap. I do not like her elbowing me several times on the way up, kicking my desk really hard, and then yanking my arm on the way down while spinning my chair as I’m typing.) I just need a few minutes of silence, oh for the love!

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Also I got a new camera… an upgrade! I love it. :)

I finally went in and registered Kate for preschool for September. Preschool! She is very excited about it; I could drop her off tomorrow and she’d barely spare me a glance as she joined in. I decided to go with three mornings a week. She’ll be in a class with 3s and 4s, they do a swim class every week, a music class, art class, and learn about numbers and letters and days and months and all those fun things. She will seriously be in heaven.

Meanwhile I am really looking forward to having a break for a couple hours! Well, half a break… I will have Ember of course. Which will be fun, just her and me! I sometimes (often) feel like Ember gets the short end of the stick a lot because almost-three-year-olds are rather needy and prone to dramatics. Kate also gets quite bored and wants to read books or play games or dance. Ember is still endlessly fascinated with cups and blocks. So I’m thinking I can take a class with Ember, do errands, hang out.

Of course once the “this is so exciting!” part passed I had one of those long moments of held-in tears, not really wanting to let go of her just yet. Which causes Den to roll his eyes just a little bit, because I spend all day with her and she can definitely drive me crazy some days. But I admit I’ve been cuddling her a little longer at night since I registered her.

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I think it’s hard sometimes, I get so caught up in the day to day exhaustion, just trying to keep ahead of the laundry and dishes and what-are-you-doing-NOW? I spend the day just wanting 5 minutes to myself in silence and I forget to stop and take it in. It’s dumb, and it’s frustrating, and I can see it happening. I’m just so tired I haven’t had a full night’s sleep – like a stretch longer than 4 hours (and the 4 is very rare, it’s more likely 3) – in well over a year. And at that point I was pregnant so I wasn’t sleeping well then either. Before I got pregnant Kate was still waking once a night. It’s been a long time. As Ember gets closer to one year old I start thinking  Okay kid, I’ve been remarkably patient and loving during your many night-time wake-ups. But now you just have to figure this out and start sleeping better. It’s time. I love you little one, but we would all benefit from mama getting some more sleep.

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Their birthdays are coming close now. How do they just keep getting older?

I’m starting to feel more like myself again. I remember this, this awakening. The first year is… intense. Not horrible, not over-the-top, not crazy… but definitely intense. I live in Baby Land. It’s dragging a giggling-but-limp toddler through a parking lot while carrying your 5 month old on your hip. It’s nursing on the couch while watching Pingu for the three thousandth time with a toddler trying to creep onto your lap and the baby. It’s losing your patience with everyone and everything except your children because your tank is empty and there’s not a whole lot left over.

Now Kate is closer to three she is much better at following directions and reasoning. She tells me about parking lots, “Be careful mama! Cars dangewus!” She holds my hand (though sometimes I have to make the request several times). I can tell her that in order to go see her friend she needs to sit in her car seat – and she does. Yes with the drama and the fake crying and the “I don’t wike dis, mama.” Definitely some negatives. Putting on coat and shoes and getting out the door in the morning is very very slow. But all in all I like the independence. It makes my life easier (though not faster). I can tell her to go wash her hands in the sink, or go find her water cup and bring it to me, or sit at the table with her snack, all with some reasonable expectation that she will do so.

Ember is easier in a lot of ways and harder in another. She can sit in shopping carts or hang out in my Beco on my front or back. She can eat little snacks of whatever I’m eating (sort of). However she is in a clingy phase where she wants to be held by mama and takes a while to warm up to new situations. Hopefully soon she’ll be eating more food so I don’t feel so guilty when I go out for more than a couple hours. That would really make a huge difference, being able to go out at bedtime! That might not happen for a while, though.

I’m enjoying the sunshine that spring brings, getting into my old/new photography hobby, spending time with my kids at the park and in the yard. I’m feeling good. It’s a good life, indeed.