My eye has something wrong with it. I don’t know what. I know that I woke up with gunk in my eye, and it hurt, and all day the whites of my right eye was all red. People kept asking me if I was okay. Poor eye. :(
I’m still a little bit drunk, but not as much as I was, so I’m going to try to write stuff now since I can’t sleep (damn eye).
The party actually went really well. We were one of the first ones to get there (as usual), and it was pouring. We waited a while before anyone else showed up! That kind of negated the “big crowd” worries of mine.
I already had a drink in me by the time SIL, BIL and BabyH arrived. Wow, BabyH has changed! SIL said it wasn’t that much, but as someone who hasn’t seen her in 2 weeks? Wow. Cute little chubby cheeks and pouty lips as she slept. She was so sweet, sleeping for most of the party. I didn’t feel too bad, except for the moments when people came over and congratulated SIL, telling her how beautiful her baby was. Just small pangs then. And then I took a big swallow of my drink.
The twins – BIL’s twin girls, 7 years old – were really really sweet. They were calling me Auntie Natalie today, which just made me so happy. I’ve known them since they were 1, but I know it’s been a little confusing for them, as I was just dating their uncle back then. They asked me if I would go swimming with them, and of course I did. I taught them how to dive today. I love to swim, and I love to teach, so I was showing them how to stretch their arms out in front of them and try to go in head-first. One of them got it; the other kept doing belly-flops. It was pretty funny. But they would grab onto my shoulders and I’d haul them around the pool… as weird as I can feel around kids, it’s pretty damn awesome to be someone’s aunt. I’m glad we got to have fun today. Uncle Denis is usually the fun one (which I don’t mind, as – like I said – I can feel rather awkward around kids), and he surely did jump in and carry them around for a while, but I think I scored some cool points today. Yay! Auntie Natalie is COOL!
Someone at the party pulled me aside to say she was really sorry for our loss. I didn’t really know her, other than knowing her from previous parties… she’s friend of a friend. I don’t even remember her name. But we talked for a good long while about stuff. She had to do IUI to get pregnant with her kids, she said, and she remembered how emotionally taxing it was. It was just so nice to talk about Devin, to have someone ask about him and chat a while. It was really really nice.
And then of course later in the evening I was totally toasted and talked with step-MIL and FIL for a while about everything. They are just so great – and I told them so. I got a few hugs. I am so, so thankful that Den’s family is as wonderful as they are. All of them. I know I can just talk about Devin in any conversation and they all totally get it. They know how hard it’s been, and they offer sympathy… but they’re also totally okay with talking about him and stuff when I want to.
Our friend – the one who was hosting the party tonight – has also been really great. She says things like, “I never thought it could happen so late in pregnancy like that!” and “I was just in shock, I just couldn’t believe it!” She’s the kind not to be afraid to say something, so she’ll just say, “Fuck, that totally sucks.” And seriously? That’s one of the most comforting things people can say. Not to try to “explain” it, not to try to be positive, but to just say, “It totally sucks,” and nod their head. I think yeah, they get it. I don’t need waterworks or drama… just someone who seems to understand. That’s all. It’s pretty simple, I guess.
So it was a pretty good night. I only had four drinks and one shot and I was totally drunk. Den drove home (designated driver!) and I was basically falling asleep against the truck door. When we got home I told him to put the sheets in the dryer… then I fell asleep on the bare mattress. LOL! Just kind of keeled over and though “well this is fine.” I remember stumbling to the bathroom at some point… I couldn’t even read the clock because it kept going fuzzy and blurring on me. I always find it hysterical when I’m drunk… I don’t do it too often so it’s just way too funny. I enjoyed myself. And of course now that the fresh clean sheets are on the bed I can’t fall asleep. Figures.
Den’s mom is coming over tomorrow and I’m looking forward to visiting with her for a while. Next week, whenever I’m feeling better, I’m going to go over to keep SIL company and visit with BabyH. It’s not nearly as hard as I was fearing.