I’m so glad to have made it to 39 weeks! I feel like I have officially reached the end stage, full term, emotionally ready to go. After Devin it has been such a goal of mine to with both subsequent pregnancies to get right up to my due date. This has not been the easiest pregnancy, but it’s likely my last and now I find myself taking a lot of pictures and video and trying to just remember how this feels. I’m in no rush for labor. I’m looking forward to it and a little anxious about Kate being away. I’m definitely feeling big and getting slow to get up and move around – I forget I have no stomach muscles and struggle to get up off the couch sometimes (rolling off can be easier!). Getting up takes effort and tends to squash Ember into my bladder. This makes playing with a toddler annoying for both of us! I never realized how many times she made requests that require me to get up: snack, milk, water, different TV show, toy is stuck, diaper, not to mention her just wanting me to follow her and play with her! Even standing for too long makes my feet ache. I can definitely feel all those extra pounds I’m carrying (around 35lbs). What else… A bit of heartburn sometimes. An achy hip when I wake up after sleeping too many hours on one side. But I’m still good. Just slower. I’m not a fan of putting out effort right now. The whole nesting/cleaning thing? Over it. I’ll do the basics.

My appointment was fine and normal as always, blood pressure is low, baby’s moving around and her heartrate is good, fundal height is good. The midwife today said she does feel like her head is pretty low, which is what I’ve been feeling too – not super low, but lower than it was, I’m starting to get little cervical twinges at times. Her estimate for this baby is around 7lbs like Kate. So I’m sticking with my original guess that this one will weight a little bit more than Kate at birth. I have friends guessing that I’ll have her Saturday or Sunday, the same gestation I had Kate at. The weekend would be really ideal for me because every route we have to the hospital is under some sort of construction, I do NOT want to be stuck in the weekly rush hour traffic.

Mood-wise I’m feeling much more mellow right now. I went through an angry phase, but I think that was in part due to stress of getting things (school) done before I went into labor. Now everything is wrapped up for me and I have nothing on the calendar – which is also a bad thing because it’s boring. It’s also been raining a lot lately, which definitely never helps my moods. I’m still a little touchy (just ask Den!) and can and will snap for very minor reasons, but I’ve been trying to just settle in and find my happy place. Music has been a good way to do that…. music and the sunshine we had today.

::

Kate seems to be feeling better now. She gave Den and I the stuffed up, runny nose that she had. I just can’t breathe through my nostrils, whereas Den has a sore throat and has a worse head. Once we got sick we realized that if this is how she’s been feeling no wonder she’s been so crabby and whiny lately! But yesterday we didn’t really get out much except for a quick errand and a jaunt in the back yard (cut short by bugs!), and yet she happily occupied herself with books and music and drawing. She was much more silly-goose Kate and very little tantrum Kate. We read stories and bounced on balls together. We practiced using her new baseball bat and t-ball set. She gave me many of her adorable little grins. It was a good day, and I think she’s feeling better overall.

She is all about playing outside now, which I’m sure shocks no one who has or has had a toddler. She loves her swing and asks us to help her into it often. She loves digging in the dirt with her little shovels. She has a toddler slide that right now is used to drop balls down – apparently observing cause and effect is more interesting than sliding down herself. She also likes going for walks in the yard and down our quiet street, pointing out and picking up leaves and sticks along the way. This works perfectly for me because I in no way care to be power-walking right now. Though she does tend to try marching into peoples’ yards. I keep thinking I want to take her to the nature trails in the local park, but the weather has not been conducive at all to outdoor activities so we’ve only been going out briefly and sticking close to the house in case it does rain. She really loves “bee-bass” – baseball. She got a t-ball set for her birthday that she is pretty darned happy with, but any bat and ball will do in a pinch. She’s not very coordinated at it yet and tends to try to do it one-handed, but she definitely enjoys hitting the ball in any way possible.

Yesterday I found my exercise/birth ball in our storage shed but it was grossly dirty so Kate helped me wash it with soapy water. And then while I was turning off the hose she pushed it down the hill in our yard. And pushed it back up. She reminded me of Sisyphus. When I got it dried off and inside I threw a sheet over it and used it at my computer desk. Kate saw this and came running over asking to sit on the ball. I directed her to go get her large ball, which she did, and then she held my hands as we both sat on our balls and bounced. Den got a picture but it’s on the camera which is not within arms reach… so I’ll post it later. (Maybe. If I remember.)

She can jump now! “Jump! Jump!” she’ll say as she hops around the living room, getting both feet off the ground. She likes the stability of holding on to something (furniture or my hands), and she will jump off of objects like cushions or books. She’s trying to jump off furniture, but only if holding my hands (thank goodness)… and she squats and does a slide off/jump instead of a crazy jump. I am very glad she is a cautious kid! I’d like to get her a small trampoline, but most are so expensive.

Clothes are a major love of hers. Every day I find her clothes in a large pile in her bedroom, or strewn about the room. If given the chance she will grab an armful and carry them into the living room. She takes off her socks frequently and is working on getting other clothing items off. I feel like my house is constantly this big laundry explosion. Often I can’t even tell which or clean or dirty, since she’ll dump out her laundry basket too. She wears clothes on her head, she struggles to get on a second pair of pants (but can’t get them all the way on yet). She puts my socks on her hands like mitts. While I do think a lot of that is adorable and I don’t want to totally take away her fun, I’m also getting very tired of putting things back in her drawers. I’d like them to stay somewhat organized and it’s just a giant mess right now. I’m looking for some way to keep her out of her drawers, there are a few different types of locks out there.

We have discovered on Netflix a show/documentary for kids about animals called Animal Atlas. We now have frequent requests for “amimaas?” (animals). I like the show because it is geared for kids, giving lots of little facts about different wild animals, and Kate loves to just shout out the name of each animal. Animals in general are just big with her right now, she loves books with animal pictures. I really want to take her to the zoo if the sun comes out. She will totally love it this year!

Letters and numbers are still a big deal with her. She now knows what sound each letter makes thanks to her LeapTop and letters magnets. She can identify all her letters, and she’ll say some of them in order but she hasn’t yet got the whole alphabet together yet. She loves us singing the alphabet song though. For numbers she quickly and easily gets to 11 or 12, but then the teens she either skips them all or gets a couple and then she shouts “Tenty! Yaayyyy!” I love how excited and proud she gets when working with her letters and numbers. She points out letters and numbers all the time on signs and menus and anything else she sees.

Singing is very appealing to her right now too. I mentioned singing her a lullaby before bed now and so as soon as we go into the bedroom she’s asking for “Singa?” She’s quiet for the song and then asks for “Singa?” again. The song I sing to her is Morningtown Ride, and sometimes I’ll hum some Brahm’s Lullaby. For books she now knows which ones are nursery rhymes or songs and she brings them to me insistently, pointing at the page and tapping until I comply. Snuggle Puppy is a favorite right now because I always sing the song part (in my own made-up song – I have no idea what the actual song is, if there is one). She skips the pages with talking and goes straight to the song part.

As far as speech goes she repeats everything we say and catches on to new words very quickly. She’s not always super clear with her words, though, and she’ll pull out some signs in an effort to get me to understand her – which helps a lot. A lot of times I can deduce what she’s trying to say based on context, but there are times she’ll just randomly come up to me and repeat the same word over and over and I just don’t know what it is! I’ve figured out that what sounds like “sega” is actually “cracker.” Not close at all. Confuses the hell out of us. (And usually sparks a very dramatic whine and stomp because no, no more crackers!) She is not stringing words together yet. Everything she says are one-word orders! “Mama! Mama! Eat? Eat? Eat? Highcha?” Well, she phrases most words as questions, with her voice rising at the end, but even disguised as a question it is still clearly a command.

The tantrums are not nearly as bad now as they were a few days ago, but she’s added certain flair to her stomping. She throws up her hands, whines and fake-sobs, then throws her arms and head forward and down as she stomps on the ground (once or multiple times). It’s a very familiar ritual we see repeated around here – and I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of it. She’s definitely figured out that she doesn’t like being told no and she’s going to try to convince us otherwise. Sadly the tantrum does not work very well on us as it either makes us laugh (and not give her what she wants) or irritated (and not give her what she wants). We definitely have to stick to our response though – there are times when I’ve though, “Well, I could have given her one more,” but now I can’t reward her behavior. Most of the time she shrugs it off pretty easily and moves on to something else as soon as she sees it didn’t work, but there are times when she’s overtired or not feeling well that she just melts down sobbing over something ridiculous. On those occasions I try to hug her and rock her and get her calmed down – but I still won’t give her what she was demanding. Poor kiddo just gets so overwhelmed with frustration sometimes. I know that must suck.

Mostly we think she is just a brilliant, adorable, funny little girl. She seems so at-ease with the world around her, so vibrant and curious yet cautious and contemplative. She loves to give hugs and kisses to us. She is just so joyful. And we are so very lucky to have her in our lives.

And Kate? Well Kate was awesome. She had woken up at 6am (three hours early) and I was a little concerned that she’d not be in a good mood by the time the party rolled around, but she took a good nap at her normal time. And mostly she seems to really enjoy having people over! When we first got outside, before anyone arrived, she was playing with her Elmo balloon and new balls and wanted our attention. But then people arrived with kids – her cousins and friends – and I think that was the last I saw of her for a few hours. I kid, I was watching her march around with toys and following the other kids. At one point they all congregated in a corner of the yard where Kate was scratching a stick in the dirt and the other kids were making a “fire” out of leaves and branches. Kate grabbed the hand of grandmas, cousins, and my friends to drag them around for various reasons. She really wasn’t particular, she just wanted someone to help her in the swing or with a toy or just to witness something. She was a total independent spirit today, doing her own thing.

I ate way too much cake and brownies, but oh they were good! Kate also ate a bunch of cake, but I shrugged and said oh well, it’s her party! For one day I’ll let her overindulge. :) She was mostly too busy to eat, she sat still long enough to eat some hot dog and sweet potato and then she was “done” and wiggling down to run off again. Until the cake, of course.

She got some great gifts this year, including a ride-on motorized 4-wheeler that the toddlers all wanted to ride, a t-ball set that we haven’t opened yet but I know she will love, a toddler golf set that everyone was dragging around for the rest of the party (and then trying to swordfight with…. golf clubs got taken away), a folding chair, some color wonder art stuff that will be awesome (and safer than what we do now), and some really cute clothes! I am really happy that I don’t feel inundated with new toys while at the same time she got some stuff that she will really enjoy.

After the party we hung out with my mother in law inside and Kate was wired! Who knows how much from the cake and how much from the fun of the party, but she was being a total silly goose rolling around on her inflatable horse and “jumping” off her chair. She was still going at 9pm (her normal bedtime) but then started to unwind and was in bed at 10pm without a peep.

What a great day! We don’t have people over too often and I really do enjoy hosting on occasion. Kate did really well, the other kids all played together really nicely, the food was good, the company was lovely. And I got to sit and enjoy it!

We’re pretty much ready, I mean the basics are washed and sitting here, but it’s very different with this one than with Devin or Kate. With both of my previous pregnancies I was super anxious and needed to have EVERYTHING purchased and set up and ready to go. Everything. The swing had to be assembled, the pack n play set up, clothes for the next 6 months, health kits and medicines and nursing pads and *everything*. This time I’m like, well, if I don’t have something we can go to the store. I am much more laid back in that way.

However the pregnancy bitchiness that I’ve had at a few points during this pregnancy is back again and my patience is just non-existant. I have my good days, but silly little things are making me irrationally frustrated and angry. I know it’s totally hormonal too, because I can just sit here all evening, nothing good or bad happening, Kate’s in bed, Den’s asleep, I’m just putzing around studying for my exam. And yet I am just grouchy. It’s like I am spoiling for someone to say the wrong thing so I can actually have something to be angry about. It’s ridiculous! I dislike feeling this way. I hope the sunshine this weekend chases it away.

Baby Ember remains active and her feet continue to love my ribs. I really like to be able to lean back and recline just to stretch out a little. Heartbeat was good at my appointment today, everything measures normal. I have no sign of impending labor (which is really good right now – exam tomorrow, party on saturday). No cramping, no bleeding, no heavy pelvic feeling, no aching. No leg cramps even! Once in a while I get a pinch in my lower back, but that works out or my chiro fixes it. I feel pretty good, really. The midwife said that’s rare to hear!

::

Kate is definitely getting closer to age 2. The attitude seems to be flaring up more, laughing while intentionally doing what we just said not to do. It’s not a big deal and it’s certainly normal, but my patience is wearing thin these days. Especially when she starts slapping my belly. She gets a time-out for that one – hitting is not okay. (And no, she doesn’t mean anything by the belly, she really has no clue what’s going on – it’s just big enough and at the right height to be a good target. Otherwise she hits my knees.) The temper tantrums have increased in frequency, set off by things like, “It’s raining, we’re not going outside,” or, “No it’s not dinnertime, we’re not feeding the dogs right now.” She clearly wants things, and she wants them when she wants them. I am trying to walk the line between minimizing the expected tantrums (which means me hiding things out of her sight or planning distractions) and letting her realize that she just doesn’t get what she wants all the time. Unfortunately she’s having to learn to wait for things. A snack can take a few minutes to prepare; if I need to go pee she’ll need to wait for me to finish before I can get her something. She does seem to understand what the word “wait” means, she repeats it back to me happily… but then of course 2 seconds later she’s asking for the same thing again and stomping her feet and sobbing at me.

The bedtime issues resolved themselves quickly, thank goodness. It was only a day or two after I posted about it that she stopped the screaming thing. Den was able to put her to bed one night, and the next he went to bed first (saying night-night) which seemed acceptable to her. Not that she’s going straight to sleep at 9pm anymore. I do not know what’s up with her, but she is trying to push bedtime later and later. I have to wake her in the morning, she takes her normal nap at the normal time (without a fuss), she’s awake and active all afternoon and evening, and then when we’re trying to wind her down before bed she just keeps running around the house like she’s been eating speed all day. Even if she starts showing signs of being a tiny bit tired she immediately jumps up and runs off to jump on her bed. It’s crazy! I am tired and have had an exam to study for so I’ve been running through the bedtime routine and putting her in bed and leaving, knowing that she is WIDE awake. Last night I heard her playing in her room for 2 hours after I put her down. But the good news is that eventually at some point she crawls onto her bed and falls asleep, no crying. I wish she’d go to sleep sooner, but as long as she’s in her room and not crying I’m fine.

She is still a very sweet girl, though. She’s been saying “Hi!” to random people she sees in stores, waving and saying “Bye bye!” to pretty much everyone. She loves to triumphantly say “Ahhh gone!” when someone has finished a meal. She’s also been asking for hugs a lot lately, which is totally adorable. Of course sometimes she does it for sneaky reasons, like when she’s in her carseat she’s asking for hugs so she can get out. But some are just totally random, and I love that! I love the way she curls up against my chest when I sing her the bedtime song. I love how she cuddles with me early in the morning while we watch TV and her little fingers play with my hands. She tries to help me with chores like sweeping and wiping things down – she gets quite annoyed if I wipe down her highchair tray without letting her do it too. (And I discovered she’s actually pretty good at it, as long as it’s not a big mess.)

We’re currently working on cleaning out the basement room and getting it set up as a play room. Den will have his TV and a new xbox to play with, while Kate will have some newly-pulled-out toys, and it will be a great place for them to go play to give me and the baby a break. Having two floors can be really irritating when you’re going up and down stairs, but there is definitely something to be said for the separation of spaces. (We have only one finished room down there, the rest is unfinished basement/storage.) It will be really nice to get that room clean! Right now we just removed all the collected junk but the room is still covered in dust and needs a thorough cleaning.

My 37 week appointment went fine and normal, the heartbeat was good and strong from the moment the doppler touched my belly. But I did mention my anxiety attack and the resulting contractions and wondered if we could do something just to ease my mind. So I ended up going friday for a biophysical profile (BPP), which is a quick ultrasound where instead of measuring growth they instead look at things like heartrate, fluid levels and practice breathing to assess if the baby is showing signs of distress. Well Ember is doing just fine in there. And of course by that point I felt like I didn’t really need the ultrasound, but if I do feel any anxiety creeping up again at least I can reassure myself that they checked her and she was fine.

Actually when I started thinking about it it makes sense that her activity level has gone up the week after Den got home – now that he’s running around with Kate all evening I get to actually sit down for an extended period. I’m having less contractions and she’s being more active! I didn’t realize how much I was doing until I no longer had to do it all, I suppose.

Here is one example from late at night.

The heartburn at night got so bad that I threw up one night so I got a prescription for zantac. Wow that stuff works! I take it before bed and NO heartburn all night! No waking up choking feeling ill! I do still have some minor heartburn during the day, but I don’t really care too much, I can take tums or whatever during the day. It was the horrible stuff when I layed down to sleep that was a huge issue; I’m not getting enough sleep as it is. I finally caved and started using another pillow to sleep with, under my knee… I think I started that at 36 weeks. Amazing I got that far before it was an issue! I’m still having troubles sleeping well though, thanks to the contractions that happen when I roll myself over, which make me have to pee really badly. And instead of being exhausted when I fall back into bed I’m wide awake again. My droid has been getting a lot of use.

It’s amazing to me that I’m over 37 weeks pregnant. I don’t have much time left, and I still don’t feel ready to have her. I mean the stuff around the house is pretty much ready: I finally located the newborn clothes and put them away, I packed my hospital bag that night when I was having contractions, the infant car seat is out and ready, the cosleeper is… okay, well that’s still in Kate’s room, we need to move it into our bedroom. But unlike last time I just don’t feel like everything has to be set up perfectly in order to bring her home. However I do still have a list of things to get through before I want her to be born! Tomorrow morning I have a moms brunch to attend; Tuesday I’m babysitting Kate’s BFF all day; Thursday is my class’ final exam; and Saturday is Kate’s birthday party. So I really would like to get through this week! By then I’ll be 38 1/2 weeks and all bets are off.

::

Well at least that worked well until this week. Den coming home has really thrown off bedtime. At first we thought she must be teething, she was screaming and screaming when I took her near her room. But oddly enough she wasn’t doing it at nap time when Den was at work. I started watching her closely around bedtime. She is showing all the usual signs of being ready for bed: rolling around, getting quiet, rubbing her eyes, asking for Elmo, sitting with a blanket. But when I gently pick her up and say the word bed? Hysterics. Absolute hysterics. And asking for daddy. And if I put her down she runs to him and wants to PLAY. We tried putting her to bed together, but then she’d just get wound up and try climbing out of bed and running off to play. I tried saying night-night to daddy and taking her in there myself, and that’s when the real tantrum hysterics kick in – I have never seen her throw a fit like this. All I can figure is that she just doesn’t want to stop fun time with daddy (even though we’ve had an hour+ of mellow time before bed, it’s not like we interrupt play time for bed), or she’s upset that in the morning when she wakes up he’ll be gone (at work).

I really hope she adjusts soon because I’d really like to spend time with Den, he needs sleep, and when the baby is born it’s likely going to be him putting her to bed.

Den arrived home yesterday evening. I called Kate over to see daddy and she was so shy at first. She sat on my lap and looked at him up through her eyelashes. “Daddy?” she’d say. “Daddy?” She gave him a hug but then back to me. Then she grabbed his finger and pulled him around the house, babbling – but she wanted me close by. She was bringing him toys and telling him the names of things and just being utterly cute. She just seemed a little confused that he was in fact here in person, not on a video screen.

And then he started playing with her. Tickling her, chasing her, drawing pictures with her and watching/helping her jump and climb. Suddenly it all clicked and he was DADDY. Oh it’s been glorious. By habit she will start out shouting, “Mama-mama…” then she realizes her error and switches to, “Daddy! Daddy!! Daddy!!!!” One, it makes my heart happy to see the two of them together, it’s so awesome. And two, it is freaking glorious for her to climb all over someone else. I love to watch and be present and share in the laughter… but from the couch. Kate thinks Daddy is The Best Thing Ever.

She spent the rest of the evening calling for him every time he so much as left her eyesight. He was not allowed to unpack or bring things in from the car except in very short bursts while she waited impatiently. Even when she’s tired she just wants him to sit on the couch with her.

::

Last night was… interesting. First I couldn’t sleep at all because Ember was being totally hyper and kept shoving against my ribs, I couldn’t get comfortable or settled. And then my anxiety kicked in. Why was she being so hyper? She has been pretty mellow for weeks now. Her kick counts earlier in the evening were totally normal, but the hyperactive wiggling and kicking was freaking me out a little. More than a little. She wasn’t crazy thrashing or anything like I’ve heard people describe about babies in distress, but it was just more activity than I’ve seen from her in a while. Was she okay in there? I was trying to reassure myself when she calmed down and stopped. And apparently fell asleep. Well now I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t get her to move. Water, change of positions, poking at her… I’d get a little push back. It was in fact her normal time to sleep, but I was paranoid as hell. Finally she roused enough to rustle around in her usual way.

Somewhere in there Kate started wailing. Den got up with her so that I could ostensibly sleep. That’s about when I noticed I was contracting. A lot. Out came my phone with contraction timer…. little contractions every 3 minutes. Well shit. That’s not good. I drank a bunch of water, sat up, layed down… still contractions. I realized I needed to get up, eat some food and drink some more water. I ended up putting some things in a bag just in case I went in to L&D (which at that point was looking likely, if only to get checked), and I started panicking now about having the baby at 36 and a half weeks when we were totally not ready emotionally or otherwise. The cosleeper isn’t set up, the car seat wasn’t installed, I hadn’t located the newborn clothes, I hadn’t packed a bag. I do have to point out that these weren’t big contractions, these were little 30 second braxton hicks type tightenings, but the every 3 minutes thing was worrying me. If it didn’t let up we were all headed in to the hospital. After I had some things thrown together I layed down on the couch with Kate…. and they finally stopped. And Ember was moving around. I could feel the pressure sliding off little by little as I let out a breath.

I’m pretty sure the contractions were a direct result of the state of anxiety I was in. Ember has been moving normally all day today so at least I have that. I’m still getting quite a lot of contractions, but it’s more like every half an hour to an hour (which has been my new normal all week – fun). It did make it all feel a lot more real and immediate, however. Today I was digging stuff out of the basement, installing the car seat, clearing out the cosleeper to move it to our room (it’s been a large gathering-spot for baby stuff). It’s like I just realized that I’m going to be 37 weeks in a couple of days and no shit I could be having a baby any day now. I really would appreciate it if she stayed in for another 2 weeks so I can get through my exam and Kate’s birthday… but mostly I’d just really appreciate not having any more anxiety attacks about her movement. I’m keeping a close eye on her movement right now and at my appointment on Wednesday I’ll probably ask for a NST/BPP just so I can see that she’s doing fine.

It’s so sad to me that this last month of pregnancy is so messed up, when I physically feel really good still. But I am just so scared sometimes. Not all the time – thank goodness. But there are times when the fear just hits me. I just want this little one to be okay.

::

Baby is being consistently active this week, which is a very good thing, especially considering that this is the week (gestation-wise) Devin passed away and was born. I’m surprised I’m not more paranoid, but I really think my girls both did a lot to keep me reassured. Today is 35w5d, the day he was born. I think the weirdest part for me is knowing that this next month never happened for him. All along I have been comparing pictures of me with both of my previous pictures and now there will be just Kate’s, as his pregnancy took a totally different turn and I was transported to another timeline, another life.

::

I needed to go grocery shopping – I was out of milk, yogurt, cottage cheese and almost out of ham. These are pretty much what I live off of. But of course I didn’t go to the grocery store yesterday, when it was nice out, and today it has been raining all day with flood warnings. I felt very lazy and didn’t want to get dressed and go out anywhere, except for one very important fact: we were out of ice cream and root beer. I am LOVING root beer floats right now. Like seriously, seriously loving them…. they are the best thing that I have ever tasted. And I really do think that’s what got me up off the couch and into the truck in the rain. Of course I bought all the other important things too, but I went for the ice cream and root beer.

This pregnancy has had my worst/strongest cravings ever. I’ve been eating a lot of ice cream, especially once I discovered the root beer float thing. Milkshakes are high on my list too, but when I finally gave in and got one at a drive-through (Burger King; McDonald’s milkshake machine was broken, WTF) it was just so gross. It tasted like cheap chocolate syrup. Blech. Finally I had a really good milkshake at Friendly’s, but those are not cheap. Thus why my freezer is stocked with ice cream right now. And beyond that I just get random cravings when someone mentions things. Like today on Facebook I saw a picture of some macaroni salad. Out of the corner of my eye it looked like popcorn. Suddenly I wanted popcorn. I literally jumped to my feet and ran, half-dressed, to the kitchen to get popcorn. Why can’t I crave healthy things?!

::

I remembered to take a picture this week! 35 weeks 3 days.

It hasn’t progressed yet to her telling me before she has to go. Her potty has been out for months, but she still thinks it’s a toy and doesn’t really want to sit on it so I just ignore it.

Today we were swimming at the pool, having a great time. At one point she stopped on the stairs and looked down, patted her swim diaper, and said, “Pee pee.” I twitched a little (I still don’t really care to know that she may very well be peeing in the pool that I’m swimming in – swim diapers hold in poo, not pee), but asked, “Did you go pee pee?” She looked down again, paused contemplatively, then simply said, “Yeah.” Thanks for that, kiddo.

::

Her swimming is progressing along very nicely. For a kid who last summer wasn’t too thrilled with the concept of big pools she certainly has made up her mind in the affirmative. I told her we were going swimming right before we left the house (yes, I have learned already not to mention things too much in advance, less there be a delay and subsequent tantrum), so she was happy to get in the truck. When I parked I immediately hear from the back seat, “Swimming??” when we got to the pool I had to make sure to get down the stairs before she did, I’m not sure she would have waited for me!

She likes “jumping” in from the side (though she usually sits and slides in, or crouches down really far before gently stepping in – she still a little too cautious to do full body jumps!), and from the stairs. She sat on the stairs for a while, sitting, stepping down, jumping into my arms then turning around and reaching for the stairs to do it again. I swished her around the pool a few times, spinning her in circles or just walking around holding her afloat under her chest. She was actually doing a very rudimentary doggy paddle in the beginning, using both arms and legs! (Then I think she got lazy and let me do the work, lol.) She loves to grab the side and pull herself out. I keep my hand on her bum in case she slips, but I let her climb out herself – I figure it’s a good skill for her to have, just in case. A few times she was a little too enthusiastic and dunked the lower half of her face in the water when jumping in, mouth wide open. She still hasn’t figured out she needs to close her mouth. She spit out water and coughed a couple of times, but didn’t even whine or complain about it, just kept on going.

For this summer I’m going to be purchasing a swimsuit for her that includes foam pieces sewn in to help keep her afloat. The style I’m getting allows you to take the foam pieces out one at a time as they get more proficient, which is awesome. I’m not a fan of arm swimmies or anything like that because I feel like it just teaches them the wrong way to float. So we’ll see what I think when I get the swimsuit. I really don’t know how much swimming we’ll be able to do with her, since she still needs constant help and I’m going to have a newborn. If the baby is okay chilling out sleeping on her own I might be able to take Kate in, otherwise we’ll have to wait for weekends or evenings when Den can handle one of the kiddos. I really do want to take her in as much as I can, though, because I just love watching her learn and get so excited about it. I will set up a small pool for Kate to play in while I hold the baby, but that’s not quite the same thing. (But still fun!)

Someday I’ll actually be able to go swimming again without holding a child. I kind of miss it, since all I do now is follow Kate around every step/swim she makes! No actual swimming for mama.

Contractions are becoming more frequent, though they are not painful, just annoying. I so look forward to another month of these (that was sarcasm, by the way). They do make me really have to pee and I am tired of running to the bathroom! Especially in the middle of the night. Either Kate or one of the animals will make some kind of whining noise, I’ll wake up and roll over, then I get a contraction and realize I have to pee NOW and go very quietly tip-toeing across the hall, hoping that Kate doesn’t hear me and wake up and that the animals realize it’s middle of the night and don’t get up. At 3am I’m usually successful. At 6 or 7am one of the furry creatures in the house usually gets all excited and ruins the rest of my morning. Grr. When Den gets home they are all his problem!

Ember’s feet are still always up moving around, I can feel them clear as day now. I can usually feel around my belly and find at least one foot if not two just hanging out there as lumps below the surface. I can’t wait until Den gets home and gets to feel her moving the way she does now! No random kicks anymore… now you can just feel her shifting, stretching, pushing, rolling. The hands down below do still punch me randomly. I’ve had a couple punches to the cervix this morning (I assume)…. sends a little jolt up my spine. I keep trying to get her on video but she quiets down when I grab the camera.