Man I suck at this lately. I’ve been spending all my “free” time editing photos – and a lot of that is done one-handed because Ember is not feeling so great and does NOT want me to put her down at night. Typing? Like actual sentences and thoughts? Ha! I get halfway through a sentence and Kate is wanting my attention or Ember starts crying or someone wakes up or someone dumps yogurt all over the floor. As it is I am actually typing… at midnight. This is my time, and I ought to be sleeping.  And my mouse isn’t even working right. Sigh.

I need to edit the format of this blog so I can post photos more easily. But when do I get time to do that…?

First a recap, then some photos. Deal? Lots of photos.

::

First big news: Kate is potty-trained!! I say this in hushed tones, looking around furtively. When do you actually consider your child potty trained, after how many days of no accidents? Because it’s been like… 5 days. All panties, no accidents, all using the potty. (*Except nights, but that’s different.) We were doing a on-again-off-again thing with the panties, she was having accidents, and then she just refused to poop. She didn’t want to go on the potty and clearly she was getting upset about using the diaper. I consoled and sat with her and encouraged her and finally said she could have a chocolate. Well. That changed everything! Now every day she says, “Kate go poop on potty, get a chocolate!” and runs right in there. Multiple times a day. And yes she gets her little m&m. She walks around holding it in the palm of her hand like it’s magic.

After a few days of doing well in the house I started venturing out, and that was scary to me. I ended up bringing her little potty in the back of my SUV just in case, since I know she’ll use it. It doesn’t really seem to be an issue because this kid goes pee like three times a day… maybe. I find myself thinking things like “It’s been like 5 hours, maybe I should suggest that she go potty.” Yesterday we were at the mall and she used a public toilet.

It really was like friends say it was for them… she was saying “No!” all the time to the potty, or sitting on it and fooling around not doing anything, or wanting to play with the toilet paper instead. And then she just… got it.

This is awesome. Although now I still find myself having to repeatedly ask her to put her panties back on, and no you don’t need to take off your shirt to go pee.

::

Second thing: We think Ember is saying “Mama.” Babies being what they are it doesn’t sound quite obvious that she’s calling my name, but what she does do is when she wants me, especially if I’m out of sight or she’d held back from getting to me, she cries, “Wahhhhhh Mamamamamama!” We blinked the first time we really noticed it tonight, usually she just makes various babbling sounds when she wants me, but tonight every single time it was “Mamamama.” So we’ll have to see if she continues saying the same thing or if that was a coincidence! I’m fairly tickled, though. Kate’s first word was “Kitty!” I feel all special. :)

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Photos!

I finally went in and registered Kate for preschool for September. Preschool! She is very excited about it; I could drop her off tomorrow and she’d barely spare me a glance as she joined in. I decided to go with three mornings a week. She’ll be in a class with 3s and 4s, they do a swim class every week, a music class, art class, and learn about numbers and letters and days and months and all those fun things. She will seriously be in heaven.

Meanwhile I am really looking forward to having a break for a couple hours! Well, half a break… I will have Ember of course. Which will be fun, just her and me! I sometimes (often) feel like Ember gets the short end of the stick a lot because almost-three-year-olds are rather needy and prone to dramatics. Kate also gets quite bored and wants to read books or play games or dance. Ember is still endlessly fascinated with cups and blocks. So I’m thinking I can take a class with Ember, do errands, hang out.

Of course once the “this is so exciting!” part passed I had one of those long moments of held-in tears, not really wanting to let go of her just yet. Which causes Den to roll his eyes just a little bit, because I spend all day with her and she can definitely drive me crazy some days. But I admit I’ve been cuddling her a little longer at night since I registered her.

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I think it’s hard sometimes, I get so caught up in the day to day exhaustion, just trying to keep ahead of the laundry and dishes and what-are-you-doing-NOW? I spend the day just wanting 5 minutes to myself in silence and I forget to stop and take it in. It’s dumb, and it’s frustrating, and I can see it happening. I’m just so tired I haven’t had a full night’s sleep – like a stretch longer than 4 hours (and the 4 is very rare, it’s more likely 3) – in well over a year. And at that point I was pregnant so I wasn’t sleeping well then either. Before I got pregnant Kate was still waking once a night. It’s been a long time. As Ember gets closer to one year old I start thinking  Okay kid, I’ve been remarkably patient and loving during your many night-time wake-ups. But now you just have to figure this out and start sleeping better. It’s time. I love you little one, but we would all benefit from mama getting some more sleep.

::

Their birthdays are coming close now. How do they just keep getting older?

I’m starting to feel more like myself again. I remember this, this awakening. The first year is… intense. Not horrible, not over-the-top, not crazy… but definitely intense. I live in Baby Land. It’s dragging a giggling-but-limp toddler through a parking lot while carrying your 5 month old on your hip. It’s nursing on the couch while watching Pingu for the three thousandth time with a toddler trying to creep onto your lap and the baby. It’s losing your patience with everyone and everything except your children because your tank is empty and there’s not a whole lot left over.

Now Kate is closer to three she is much better at following directions and reasoning. She tells me about parking lots, “Be careful mama! Cars dangewus!” She holds my hand (though sometimes I have to make the request several times). I can tell her that in order to go see her friend she needs to sit in her car seat – and she does. Yes with the drama and the fake crying and the “I don’t wike dis, mama.” Definitely some negatives. Putting on coat and shoes and getting out the door in the morning is very very slow. But all in all I like the independence. It makes my life easier (though not faster). I can tell her to go wash her hands in the sink, or go find her water cup and bring it to me, or sit at the table with her snack, all with some reasonable expectation that she will do so.

Ember is easier in a lot of ways and harder in another. She can sit in shopping carts or hang out in my Beco on my front or back. She can eat little snacks of whatever I’m eating (sort of). However she is in a clingy phase where she wants to be held by mama and takes a while to warm up to new situations. Hopefully soon she’ll be eating more food so I don’t feel so guilty when I go out for more than a couple hours. That would really make a huge difference, being able to go out at bedtime! That might not happen for a while, though.

I’m enjoying the sunshine that spring brings, getting into my old/new photography hobby, spending time with my kids at the park and in the yard. I’m feeling good. It’s a good life, indeed.

The other day at bedtime we were reading Kate a book in her bed while Ember played on the kids trampoline, as usual. We keep an eye on her in case she head-dives off it, but she freaking loves that thing. So I glanced over at her sitting up there, then the next time I glanced over she’s on the floor crawling over to Den. I think huh, that’s weird, maybe he got her off or she fell off or something. A few minutes later she crawls back up there to play and then I see her turning around and getting off feet-first! What?! Kate took forever to learn how to do that, there was a long period between crawling/climbing and getting off without crashing. Ember apparently had decided she’s had enough spills already so she’ll just skip to getting off safely. Go Ember!

::

The weather is still cool, especially when the wind blows, but it’s warm enough that we’re heading outside sometimes. It is just so nice to sit in the sunshine when I can. Kate loves finding leaves and sticks to collect and wave around, or flowers (weeds) to pick. Ember likes to eat grass.

It’s funny, I remember Kate’s first experience with grass. She poked at it, she plucked it one blade at a time, and then she refused to put her hands on it and cried when she tried to crawl. Once she was walking she was better, but she’d still cry if she tipped over and had to put her hands down for balance. Ember on the other hand…. well she had a similar moment poking at the grass, feeling it, checking it out. But then she went full-bore ahead! Today she was charging around the yard, crawling like a maniac and doing her breathy excited laugh. She kept putting bits of grass and leaves in her mouth. I gave her a piece of my hot dog bun, but she mouthed it a little, crawled around with it clutched in her fist, then sat up and put more in her mouth. Mmmmm, dirt.

::

Kate has stopped napping. She’ll take one every few days but most days even if I do the whole routine and put her in there she just sings at the top of her lungs for an hour while kicking the walls and jumping around. Considering that Ember sleeps in our bedroom right next door and the walls are really not soundproof I try to discourage her from doing that. I turn the TV on to something hopefully interesting, give her a snack, and tell her to just sit down and be quiet for a little bit, but no. Every few minutes I get a, “Mama! Ma-MA!” or she’s trying to awkwardly climb onto my lap. (I do like her sitting on my lap. I do not like her elbowing me several times on the way up, kicking my desk really hard, and then yanking my arm on the way down while spinning my chair as I’m typing.) I just need a few minutes of silence, oh for the love!

::

Also I got a new camera… an upgrade! I love it. :)

Ember is not only crawling, she is charging around the house full steam. Her favorite room is the bathroom, because there are lots of fun tubby toys and shampoo bottles to throw into the tub – which she does, immediately. She’s pulling up to stand on everything, including the tub, then *bang* goes the stacking cups, *thunk* goes the shampoo. At least it makes it easy to tell where she is! Once everything has been sufficiently tossed she then moves on to unrolling the toilet paper, and yesterday Den told me she figured out how to open the cabinet under the sink. We keep the bathroom door closed for the bathroom’s safety, but the minute she looks over to see it open she makes a beeline.

Kate’s room, too, now has its dangers. She would play with the clothes and toys and pull up to stand using the bed – that’s no big deal. But there’s also Kate’s trampoline in there and now Ember has figured out how to climb onto it! Not only does she bounce on her bum and nearly fall over backwards, she grabs the handle and stands up (and bites the rubber handle grip). So there she is, perched precariously on the edge of the trampoline. I won’t say she’s prone to falling, but she does fall off. So she either needs a spotter or the door stays shut.

All of this is made more fun by the fact that Kate can open any door she chooses now. I don’t care if Kate goes in her bedroom or the bathroom – though I do try to herd her out of my bedroom because she likes to play with the CD player and such – but wherever she goes, so does little sister!

Ember is 10 months old now and still doesn’t have any teeth. I’m pretty certain one is coming, either that or she has an ear infection or something, because the last few days she’s been pretty miserable. Red cheeks, runny nose, and just fussy fussy fussy. This kid is pretty much the furthest thing from fussy you can get, so for her to constantly crawling onto my lap sobbing “buhbuhbuhbuh!” but not really nursing… it’s just not right. Getting her to nap is being the most difficult; given that she isn’t feeling great I’m having a tough time putting her down in her bed, she just wants to stay attached to the boob. Needless to say it is difficult to shower and make food with her nursing. Plus it tickles when she flutter-sucks. I have been getting her to nap eventually but not after a bit of a fight and usually hours past sleepy time. So in addition to the above symptoms she’s also running chronically overtired. Overtired babies are very frustrating… just saying.

::

Just this week Ember has started doing three important things.

On the “cute!” side she has started pointing, chubby little fingers curled in except for her pointer finger. Yesterday at the baseball game she kept pointing to the sky then clapping when I said yay. :)

On the “helpful” side she now tries to put her arms in the armholes of her clothes and actually straightens her arms to get it on. Considering I have spent the last 10 months fighting this child every time I put a shirt on her I am very thankful! I don’t know why, but she every single time she would pull her arms in to her sides, make fists, and use all her strength to prevent me from pulling her arm through. Very annoying. This is a HUGE improvement.

And on the “it’s about damn time” side she finally she has started rolling over!! Only back to front, and only to her left, but she finally figured it out. Of course this has made for some major changes with sleeping, since now she’s not stuck on her back wherever we lay her. So no more sleeping on our bed and we had to put the rail up on her crib. What a pain it is! I now have to learn the fine art of putting down a sleeping baby. Which, by the way, I totally suck at. But now when she wakes up she just rolls over and starts crawling around her crib.

Kate’s speech has shifted this past week, she has started using pronouns correctly and more complex sentence forms. She’s saying things like, “I want the blue cup,” “That’s my baby! This is yours, mama.” “I hear Ember! Go get her!” She’s speaking slower, you can tell she’s searching in her brain for the correct pronoun to use. The result is an utterly adorable emphasis on certain words.

Today was a conversation bonanza with her. So many funny and adorable things!

::

She woke up from her nap (yes she took one today!) in a good mood. I could hear her chattering in her room, and singing, so I left her for a few minutes. When I went in to get her she was sitting on her bed in the corner with all her her various stuffed animals laying down in an array in front of her. “Shhh,” she said, “All the animals are sleeping!” I sat down with her and we sung them her bedtime song (Morningtown Ride). She she made me give each of the animals a kiss, also part of her bedtime routine. Then we tiptoed out of the room.

A minute later she says, “Rabbit crying!” We opened her bedroom door and she ran over to the bed to pick up the rabbit. “It okay,” she said while giving him a big squeezy hug. “It okay.”

::

This afternoon we went to a ball field to watch Den play baseball. Kate has been showing interest in baseball, it’s one of her favorite things to do outside (she has a plastic bat and ball). We sat on the bench for a little bit and she kept pointing to Den and saying, “Daddy! Daddy! Hi!! Number five!” (He has the number 5 on his back.)

When he was up to bat she clapped and said “Yaayyy!!” every time he swung – even if he missed. He ran to first base and she clapped. He ran to second and she clapped. In a little bit he was able to run home and she clapped. As he jogged off the field toward us she ran toward him and said, “Yay daddy!!! I so proud of you!!”

::

On the way home after dinner she rode in Den’s car with him – Ember was in my SUV with me. When we got home she immediately said, “Mama! Look, the moon!!! Look!!” And it was there above the house. Den said on the way home she could see the moon out the window and kept talking about it. “Daddy, the moon!! Where the moon go? There it is! The moon!!” Apparently she also said something along the lines of, “Kate tired. Moon means bedtime. Daddy tired, too.”

She indeed went to bed soon as we got home.

I have to share this photo, because I love it.

I’ve been getting a bit more into photography as a hobby lately (I used to be… a long time ago. When I had time and energy and nothing else to do). Yesterday I was trying to take some self portraits using my camera and my tripod and Kate was attracted to the tripod like a bug to a light. She wanted to touch it, play with it.

After I was done I collapsed the legs way down so it was Kate’s height and set up the camera so she just had to turn the camera and push the button. She loved it! She took pictures of random things around the room and then started piling all of her stuffed animals on her kitchen to take a group photo.

She’s my kid, what can I say. :D

Her pic:

Mar 31
Kate: “Fork is sad….”
Den: “Why?”
Kate: “Fork want more eggs.”
*Den gives her more eggs*
Kate: “FORK HAPPY!”

Mar 29
Today Kate helped me crack open a boiled egg to make a sandwich. “Hatching a chick!” she said as she peeled the shell off. Well… sort of. We’re hatching an egg and eating it. (She was unphased.)

Mar 29
Ember’s been occupied for 15 minutes with a wipes bag.

Mar 29
Made Kate and myself a sandwich. By the time I had finished half of mine Kate was at my shoulder saying, “More egg sanwich!” Since it was something healthy I felt obligated to hand it over. Sure kid, eat my lunch. I’m not really hungry anyways. :/

Mar 29
Put Ember to bed, left to deal with Kate’s mess (she dumped over her cereal bowl). It was quiet so I peeked in the bedroom to make sure Ember was actually asleep. No. She was playing with her toes, grinning widely and kicking happily.

Mar 28
I don’t really mind if Kate doesn’t want to actually take a nap, but the kid really needs to sit down and be quiet for half an hour. I told her she can either lay quietly on the couch or take a nap in her room. She’s on the couch. Every 30 seconds she pops up and says something like, “Hungry again!” or “Move Merlin!” or “Kate wake up!” And I remind her, couch or bed. She lays back down. Until 30 seconds later….

Mar 26
I survived a trip to the mall with both girls while I shopped (and tried on) clothes. It was not my best mall trip. But they are both asleep so yay?

Mar 25
Well today Ember figured out her feet and started pulling to stand on everything. And then letting go. Because hey, that’s fun right? Wheeeeee.

Mar 25
Ember loves the bathroom… she loves throwing things in the tub. If I dare leave the door open I hear *crash crash crash* everything that was stacked neatly in the bathroom? In the tub.

Mar 24
She is falling asleep on daddy! That pretty much never happens.

Mar 24
Kate’s serenade to her daddy yesterday:
“Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to daddy,
Happy birthday to daddy.”
And then she gave him a bucket filled with her little toys as a present. She loves playing birthday so much I’m not sure that she really understood that it actually was his birthday yesterday, haha.

Mar 22
One child lines up little people in front of her new farm animals. The other child sits there with a bucket on her head.

Mar 21
Kate pulled Ember down the hall by her feet – Ember was sitting up and keeping her balance, thankfully. Kate said, “Ember go my room!” I thought “Awww, she’s bringing her sister in there to play! How sweet!”
Until I heard the door shut and Kate walks up to me. “Ember in time out!” Ummm. Okay, no, let’s go get your sister.

Mar 20
I hear fake crying for help. I open Kate’s door and she’s standing there with her hand on the knob. She runs over, picks up her trampoline, sits down, puts the trampoline on top of her leg, then says, “Mama, I stuck!”

Mar 20
Currently one kid is in her room having “quiet time” (as nap FAIL) – which is involving loud thumps and totally fake crying – and the other is throwing lego duplos around on the hardwood and I just noticed she has one leg completely out of her sleeper pajamas. o.O

Mar 19
Our Netflix instant queue: [movie] [documentary] [tv show] [tv show] [THREE BILLION KIDS SHOWS]

Mar 19
Ember… please don’t blow raspberries while I am feeding you pureed carrots. Thank you.

Mar 19
Told Kate it was time for her nap. She did not want to lay in her bed. I gave her the choice of bed or couch. She layed down on the couch with a pillow and blanket and started snoring a few minutes later, despite the fact that the TV was on and Ember is crawling around banging on toys right in front of her. 0.o

Mar 19
“Jo go in the box! Jo go in the box! Jo go in the box!” An early life lesson on how utterly pointless it is to try to get a cat to do what you want.

Mar 19
Toddler logic: If mama won’t rewind it back to the letter A (for the third time, mind) I will throw a sobbing fit and miss the *entire* song. Because that makes total sense.

Mar 18
Two children. Neither sleeping. One is stuffed up and would rather pull my hair than lay down, the other is just being a toddler. I need some chocolate, stat.

Mar 18
I attempted to put Kate in her bed at nap time – big fail. No sleeping. But then at 4pm she says “Kate tired. Nap couch.” She’s currently asleep on the couch with a movie on. Third day of this napping on the couch thing. Weird.

Mar 17
I’m being stalked by a sad, snotty, whining baby. Wherever I go she crawls along after.

Mar 17
Oh, also, Den said this morning when he got up, Kate was already up and watching TV. (She knows how to push the button to start a new show, but that’s about it.) I’m liking this getting out of her room thing…

Mar 17
Yes! Kate asked to go on the potty while wearing panties, no accidents!! She didn’t want to wear a diaper to bed last night either, but that’s still going to happen.

Mar 16
Kate is discovering that having a tea party with Ember is kind of like having a tea party with godzilla.

Mar 16
I have been instructed to throw the white crayon in the garbage because it is “broken.” I am trying not to laugh.

Mar 15
Tonight after we put Kate to bed, number of times she tried escaping her room: 0. Guess I need to limit the naps. (She did fall asleep today, but only for like half an hour before I woke her, since it was 5pm.)

Mar 15 [pic]
Look what she did today while I was intentionally not in the room! First she traced the 15, then colored the kite!!

Mar 15
Kate kept trying to step on me, which I don’t really enjoy when trying to watch a movie with her, so I told her to sit down or I’d get up and leave. She sat down on my lap facing me. Then she leaned in really close and whispered softly, “Your eyebrows,” and jabbed my eyebrow. Toddlers are weird.

Mar 15
Kate has started asking me to take off her pants and diaper so she can go to the bathroom. Not always, but sometimes.

Mar 15
My girls were so well behaved today! I love it when we’re all in good moods.

Mar 14
Kate has figured out how to open her bedroom door from the inside. (She has known how to get *into* rooms for a couple months, but getting out was a lot trickier.) We’re screwed.

Mar 14
Kate opened her bedroom door, stuck her head in and said, “Go away, giant! Go away!” Then came to tell us proudly that she told that giant to go away. Yeah. Bad giant.

Mar 14
Gave Kate a new bucket of lego duplos today, she sits on the floor and starts playing. Later I’m sitting on my computer and realize she’s running this way and that while holding the bucket in her hands. I can’t figure out what on earth she’s doing until I notice Ember crawling purposefully along behind her.

Mar 13
I told Kate we had a surprise for her. I started putting socks on her so I could take her downstairs to show her the surprise and she says, “Ohhh, my socks, oh wooowwwwww!” She thought that was it, haha!

Mar 13
Potty training: Kate now says “Mama stay here!!” and then closes the bathroom door in my face.

Mar 13
Laying down with a toddler who is not tired and does not want to take a nap is some form of full body contact sport.

Mar 11
We just heard Ember wake up (she’s talking to herself). Kate jumps to her feet and says, “Hear Ember! Go get Ember!” Then when I get up to go with her she pushed me back into my chair and said, “No, stay here!” and ran off. I wonder how long I need to wait. *snort*

Mar 11
Cracks me up that whenever I give Kate something unexpected – and it can be as simple as her water cup while she’s eating – she goes, “Whoa whoa wow!” in this impressed voice.

Mar 8
Well, she’s not shouting numbers. She was shouting the months of the year… at 10:30. So she’s up and getting it out of her system. Weird kid. Good thing she’s funny as hell.

Mar 8
I am very impressed that Kate just figured out that 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, using her fingers. I just really wish she hadn’t figured it out as I was tucking her into bed at bedtime.

Mar 8
Kate is stomping back and forth between her room and the living room, stacking all her books together on the couch. I asked her if she wants to read one with me and she said, “No! Make humongous first!” That’s her new thing… when I say we need to do A she says she must do B FIRST. Especially at bed time.

Mar 8
Give a child a sippy cup and they are occupied for half an hour! Of course she, the highchair and the floor are soaked, but she’s happy as can be!

Mar 8
Ember is sleeping and I am in a good mood so I ask Kate what she wants to do, whatever she wants. She points to the top shelf where things are strategically hidden and says “Playdoh!!” Well played, child.

Mar 8
Ember is becoming a really good argument for Kate picking up her toys.
“Pick up your cards, Kate.”
“No.”
“Pick them up or Ember will get them.”
*Ember crawls over slowly but surely*
“No!! My cards!!”
“Quick pick them up before Ember gets them!”
And Kate pics them up. ;)

Mar 7
Just realized my daughter is standing on her chair with her naked butt on the windowsill. Sorry neighbors. Potty training is fun for everyone!

Mar 7
Today Kate ran around playing “tag” with Ellie. Ember crawled around and discovered that cat food is yummy.

Mar 6
Super fun to look over and see the baby covered in chili. Especially when she’s in the living room and you didn’t give anyone any chili today. … Kate says “Uh oh!” and I look over and blink. Ember has something on her face and… what the heck?? Apparently, unbeknownst to me, Kate stored her left over bowl of chili in her kitchen yesterday after dinner. Ember finds it and thinks hey, awesome!

Mar 6
Ember likes to now get on hands and feet, butt in the air, very yoga-esque. Unfortunately she also tried to do it in the bath a few times. (But I was the one who panicked, not her… she thought it was funny to put her face in the water. WTF?)

Mar 6
This is what my morning has been like so far.
Kate: “Number four!” *excited* “Number four!” *sobbing* “Numbeerrrr fooourrrrrrr!!” *wailing*
I have absolutely zero idea. She’s bipolar and switches every 10 seconds.

Mar 5
Ember is 9 months old!! 18lb 5oz and 27 1/4 inch long (or something around that). Roughly average for height and weight. Perfectly healthy.

Mar 5
At the grocery store I bought a blueberry muffin and a water. My intention was to share it with Kate. Hahaha, I got one bite. I’m hungry. :/

Mar 4
Bath time tonight Ember was going *nuts* as usual… crawling around, hopping up and down on her bum, and splashing everywhere while panting with excitement. Then whoops she goes straight over backwards. I grabbed her and pulled her out right after she went under. She opens her mouth to dribble out water, splutters “Ah-CAH!” and then continues bouncing and splashing.

Mar 4
Today Ember shifted from “oh I really want that, I guess I’ll struggle to crawl 2 feet to get it” to “Hey, I can crawl around!! Wonder what I can get to next!” She also discovered that crawling is easier for her with one knee and one foot… kind of crab-walking.

Mar 3
It’s amazing to me how much taller and skinnier Kate looks now. The last couple months was apparently a big growth spurt!

Mar 2
She’s still talking away in her room. It’s 11:15. Go the **** to sleep, Kate!!!

Mar 1
Before I forget. Today when I woke Kate up from nap I said “Hi sweety pie!” while I layed down with her and rubbed her back. Ember had woken up too so I got up to get her. Kate goes running in there to give Ember her hug (Ember MUST get a hug when she wakes up or Kate loses it) and Kate says to her, “Hi sweetie pie!!” Haha, so sweet.

Mar 1
An hour after bedtime we have heard three large thumps and she’s currently saying, “Anna turtle, an planets, an.. an… an puppy…. all GOOONNNNEEEE!” She doesn’t sound upset, more like she’s reciting a shopping list of things that she can’t find in the dark.

Kate is most definitely in that I do it myself phase. It’s both fun to watch her figure things out and so very annoying when you need to accomplish something in some form of reasonable time. She insisted on putting on her coat yesterday when we were leaving the house, but she could only get one arm in. I had to help her but as soon as I touch the coat she starts yelling at me and falling to the floor. I try as best I can to be patient and I always give her verbal warning – and ask, if possible – before doing something. “Can I get you some water in your orange cup? No, your pink cup, okay. Mama has to do it, I know that is upsetting. But I’ll get it for you in your pink cup. See? Water in your pink cup! Now go sit down and drink it.”

The hysterics every few minutes make my head hurt. Some days it feels like I’m walking on eggshells, never knowing what will cause the next freakout. The cat sat on her blanket; she dropped her toy; the song on her movie already started and she missed the first word. Even what seem like simple requests, like crackers… well I got the wrong crackers, or the wrong number of them, or one cracker has the corner broken. All of these are cause for “Kate sad! Kate crying!” or, worse, wordless whining sobs. She’s also started bargaining, like when I say pick out one book for bedtime she says, “Two books? Three books? Fooouuurrrr books??” And of course the now universal, “Finish this FIRST!” It doesn’t matter what I say, she interrupts me to say that she needs to do something else first. Eat lunch? “Finish puzzle first.” Get in car? “Watch Elmo first.” Even if the thing I was talking about is something she really wants to do… she’s trying to maintain control of the timeline.

Ember is full out crawling around the house, which is great for her and not so great for Kate. She’s now pulling up on things too, increasing her reach. It’s shocking when I glance over and see her standing there, holding onto a shelf or table or whatever. This has caused more than a few meltdowns from Kate and I have started frequently hearing things like, “No Ember!!!! That’s mine!!!” along with “Mama, move Ember!” One day I glanced over to see Kate dragging Ember across the floor by the feet, slow inch by inch away from the toys. Ember was giggling hysterically, thinking this was an awesome game, and when Kate let go Ember crawled straight back over to the toys. Kate dragged her across the floor again.

We’ve had some playdates with other kids and I’m yet again impressed with just how well Kate generally gets along with other kids. Yes there is some crying that so-and-so took the toy, but there’s a lot of giving a toy to someone else too. She also just loves running with other kids so if she sees anyone running around she’s taking off after them. It’s so funny how little kids group together and just run in circles giggling. And Ember is generally great because she’s easily occupied with some random object like a credit card. As long as I don’t walk away.

I really want to copy and paste all my FB status updates about the kids so I can keep them in perpetuity. I need to start working on that.

Ember has hit a want-Mama phase. It’s sad to see her get all teary but it’s really sweet too. She can and does still play on her own in the house, but when we are out or if she is tired or feeling unwell she just doesn’t even want me to put her down. A few times in the past couple days she’s crawled after me in the house, crying big tears and wanting me to come rescue her. (Which I of course did, as soon as I finished feeding the cats/putting the laundry in/getting something for Kate.) Where before she would happily go to anyone and sit and chill now she’s looking at them like “Wait… I don’t know you.” Once she’s back in my arms she’s all smiles again.

She is fine with Denis, for the most part, except for that pesky boob thing: I have them, he doesn’t. She loves playing with daddy but if she’s really upset over something or if she’s tired then she wants milk and there is no way around that. She’s still absolutely refusing to take a bottle. I had the very good fortune to attend a friend’s birth last week and thankfully I was only gone for a few hours overnight because Ember woke up and was seriously freaking out at Denis. He ended up sitting on the recliner with her, watching TV and waiting for me to come home. There was simply going to be no sleeping until then. He tried a sippy cup again, which she does drink out of but mostly spits it all over and plays, but the bottle apparently just makes her really really angry. It is a fake boob and she does. not. like. it.

She also has a runny nose/cold thing going on the last few days while is making night time annoying. She can’t breathe too well so nursing is not very easy, which means she ends up asleep thrashing around crying until I pick her up and jiggle her out of it. I have to sleep right next to her, she seems to need my presence while she doesn’t feel good – and I can’t blame her for that.

A conversation I had with Denis the other day really made me realize just how differently he and I experience things, especially at night time. He was saying something about Ember’s sleep and how “We thought Kate was a bad sleeper, then we got Ember!” To him, listening to Ember waking up crying at night, and him being completely unable to put her to sleep no matter what he does, Ember is worse. I almost laughed out loud when he said that though, because wow is that not my experience at all. Ember sleeps 3 hour naps (and the first stretch at night) in her crib. Ember nurses and then I can just stand up and walk out of the room – without creeping, without waking her. And if Ember does happen to open her eyes in that really drowsy mostly-asleep state she just blinks at me and closes her eyes again. Yes Ember wakes Denis up more at night – because Kate would only sleep right up close to me, she didn’t need to cry to eat. Sometimes I can get Ember back to sleep simply by laying down close to her, singing, and kissing her on the head. There is a huge list of ways that Ember is so much easier! But, again, different perspectives…. Den can’t do a single damn thing for Ember, not yet. But that also doesn’t bother me too much, as I know how temporary this all is.

The problem with your first [live] child is that they really feel they can’t function without your constant attention.

“Mama, I dropped it!”
(Pick it up!)
“Mama, you draw circle!”
(I already did, you cried that it was wrong. I am not falling for that again.)
“MAMA!!!”
(I am not responding to you until you ask nicely and quietly. Do not yell at me.)
“Mama throw garbage.”
(I’ve thrown several things in the garbage now, I’m pretty convinced you’re asking me to do it just to make me stop whatever else I am doing.)

I have taken to intentionally ignoring her, hiding in the kitchen cleaning (which, yes, needs to get done) just so that she will do something on her own. And she does! If I’m sitting with her she decides she can’t possibly draw well enough, I ought to do it for her. Yesterday while I was hiding out of sight she not only traced numbers she she also colored within the lines, something she’s never shown any inclination – much less ability – to do before.

There’s been talk about that article written about the mom on the iphone, and rebuttals, and blah blah I don’t pay much attention. But Julie wrote about it over at A Little Pregnant and I think it’s worth the read. “During interludes of benign neglect we’re simultaneously teaching our children something valuable: that other people’s desires are important, too; that you’re not always the focus of every eye, and you mustn’t expect to be; that when you need us we’ll be present, but not every second you merely want; that if Momma — shudder — looks away for a minute, you’ll still be fine.”

I’m home with my kids, doing craft projects with Kate and taking them to the Children’s Museum and the Library and playdates. They come grocery shopping with me and trips to Target where they learn all about the joy of shopping for useless but cute things. I take three billion photos of them. When I’m reading and posting online it’s usually about them – uploading photos, sharing stories (or rants) – simply because this is my life all day. Kate is fine if we are out, but she doesn’t handle boredom well. At home if I’m not Paying Attention To Her she is hanging off my arm whining, begging me to wattcchhh meeeeeee. The poor kiddo needs to learn how to occupy herself.

::

Kate is a very outgoing, friendly child. When we are out she says hi to everyone we see. Now that she is learning new things she likes to walk up to people and say, “Look! Look at the fish/toy/shoes/whatever!” She also says helpful things like, “That’s Mama!” The other day at the Children’s Museum she kept trying to show an older boy the lion that she had made. (He was quite snotty about it, pushing her hand away and telling her to leave him alone. Nice.) Today we went to an Ecotarium, full of interesting exhibits about animals and weather and dinosaurs. At one point we came across another girl around 3 years old and Kate and her ran giggling into a “fort” together. I could hear them talking in quiet girl-voices. They both peeked their head out the door, just hanging out together. When they came out they went over to a microscope to explore and Kate pointed and said, “Your turn!”

Like I said, she’s just a friendly kid. She’s going to love preschool in the fall! I’m leaning towards putting her in the 3 days a week class (a 3-4 year old class), as opposed to the 2 days a week (a 3 year old class). The kid has an obsession with letters and numbers and words and she’s not lacking on social skills. I think she’ll do just fine.